Boundary-Setting – Make No Apologies
Make your mistakes. That is how you learn. However, make no apologies for who you are or are becoming!
We have been discussing boundaries these last couple of days, even today on our Facebook page and yesterday on the blog. Today, we actually concluded a series of what we call Daily Dose of Inspiration on the topic.
A huge part of boundaries and the reason for setting them is to be able to accept who you are and live from that place of acceptance. Today’s post talks about that aspect – being authentic.
Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
Have you ever met someone or been in a situation where you were expected to make apologies for your happiness?
Been there and done that many times in my life. Now, I am at the point where being alone – physically – and have a very small circle of friends really do not bother me at all.
Being oneself is far more important than being who someone else needs you to be. Worse yet, is being in a crowd of people but feeling alone.
Back in 2015, when this post was first published, there was a situation in my professional life where a person who did not wish to take responsibility for herself and her behaviour lashed out at me – verbally and physically. In her mind, it was unreasonable of me as the supervisor to expect her to do what every employee, myself included, in any job anywhere in the world is expected to do.
In essence, I was to turn a blind eye to non-compliance and non-adherence to company policies. When her actions got to the point of being totally intolerable, words had to be spoken – gently and kindly. She, however, took offence. I became the bitch for upholding policy and following senior management’s instruction.
Make No Apologies
There was a point when it was clear that she expected me to make apologies for being punctual every day, getting my work done and even finding time to help others with theirs. It seems as if my efficiency was not something that ought to make me proud. This kind of attitude I have seen before.
While working with the federal government of Canada, many of my colleagues felt threatened by those of us with degrees. We were ridiculed and derided, trying to diminish our hopes of rising to higher levels. It was their own low self-esteem that they were trying to mask by this behaviour. Some of those targetted preferred not to mention that they had a university education. I did no such thing and in the end, did not make too many friends among the rank and file.
When you have worked, studied, toiled and even struggled long and hard to reach wherever it is that you have – make no apologies for it!
Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. You are YOU and that’s the beginning and the end, no apologies, no regrets. Unknown
Do Not Allow Anyone To Lower Your Bar
Nothing stops any of us from reaching our goals but ourselves. Therefore no one has the authority to demand, request, suggest or coerce apologies from you for setting standards for your life.
Your work ethic, relationship boundaries and your standard of living are yours to set. Allow no one to cause you to lower your bar to match their selfish needs.
Conversely, expect no one to make apologies for living life on their terms. Should that person, let us say, choose not to respect and adhere to policies of a company that they have accepted employment with, or the expectations that come with say marriage, then state your position but do not settle for mediocrity performance or settle for a relationship that does not serve your highest ‘good’.
Make no apologies for being the best you and desiring the best for you!
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Love,
