Thief: Are you one?
“People who violate your boundaries are thieves. They steal time that doesn’t belong to them.” Elizabeth Grace Saunders
I was such a thief!
It took all of 40 years for me to be caught, thrown before the courts, and sentenced! The presiding judge on my case, thankfully, understood the journey that brought me before her.
She was compassionate even though no-nonsense. While she listened to my explanations and recounting of all that had been done to me, she was not beguiled by any of it.
Thief Thrown Into “Jail”
My court case took six months. One hour twice per week, through snow then spring rain, I would make my way to my psychologist’s (the judge) office downtown Edmonton, Alberta. It had taken a couple of months to find “the best fit,” as after agreeing with my friends that professional help was needed, the challenge was finding the right professional.
This Jewish judge got me. By the second session, she had a handle on the thief, claudette, and saw glimpses of Claudette.
Long before my insurance coverage ran out, working in tandem with my Spiritual Director (a Catholic Nun who I trusted and loved world without end), this judge was conversing with Claudette.
A breakthrough occurred the third time we sat on the floor with her basket of yarns. The exercise was to choose yarn by the colour that represented people who played and/or continued to play significant roles in my life. I would string the yarn around my body within a virtual range of their proximity to me. This was indicative of how close they were to me and how much they influenced me.
As the exercise progressed, she instructed me to move the yarn either further from or closer to my body as guided by Spirit. This is why she was an excellent judge for me. She easily and comfortably blended science and spirituality to help her clients heal.
She Freed The Thief!
This form of Body Talk therapeutic approach was largely responsible for sentencing me to a life of Freedom!
Boundaries were at the root of my emotional challenges and balance was the key ingredient for my healing. In my childhood, my sense of boundaries was never allowed to develop due to:
- Sexual abuse and molestation
- Parental abuse – verbal and physical (mother)
- Abandonment (father)
Seeking to find my place in the world, like everyone else who had these experiences, I was wide open to even more imbalances. Intimate relationships became power struggles, my pursuit of higher education was so driven it almost fried my brain. My career was less about passion but more focused on getting to the top as quickly as possible.
My Power Was Stolen
Power – I had lost it (or so I thought) at the hands of molesters, abusers, lovers and general users. My effort was to regain my power and I was completely out of balance, invading other people’s boundaries and unhappy. Several years after migrating to Canada, the relationship that brought us here crashed to the floor, amidst deceit and attempted manipulation. What little “power” I had left, was wiped out.
It would take several more years and another broken relationship that I ought not to have entered in the first place before my dog philosophy came right to the fore.
With my life in way more balance – I was finally at peace with my past and with where I was. Finally, I was doing Me, how I wanted and, more importantly, as led by Spirit. So, no longer a thief but a dog, I simply peed on the dying relationship and moved on.
Balance: Body, Mind, And Spirit
Balance of body, mind and spirit allows you to be clear about who you are, what you will do and who you will do it with and why.
Equally, having balance in your life erases any desire to step over anyone’s borders or that clearly states where you can go and where is off-limits. Read carefully and feel within yourself whether that territory matches your exploratory plan. Otherwise, just pee on it and move right along!
Check out this website for more information on Body Talk Therapy and find a local therapist if you feel out of balance. Stop being a thief and/or learn to spot one!
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Have a great day and the rest of the week!