We often think that toxic relationships occur only in intimate relationships but that really is not accurate.
Toxicity can arise among friends, parent-child, co-workers, and even mere acquaintances. Our tendency is to “blame” the other, whoever that may be, for the poisonous nature or for injecting the toxin into the relationship.
The Looks of a Toxic Relationship
The experts describe toxic relationships as those:
“…Characterized by behaviours on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and, not infrequently, physically damaging to their partner. While a healthy relationship contributes to our self-esteem and emotional energy, a toxic relationship damages self-esteem and drains energy.
A healthy relationship involves mutual caring, respect, and compassion, an interest in our partner’s welfare and growth, an ability to share control and decision-making, and in short, a shared desire for each other’s happiness.
It is a healthy relationship is a safe relationship, a relationship where we can be ourselves without fear, a place where we feel comfortable and secure. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is not a safe place. A toxic relationship is characterized by insecurity, self-centeredness, dominance, and control.
We risk our very being by staying in such a relationship. To say a toxic relationship is dysfunctional is, at best, an understatement.” (Source: Health ScopeMagazine)
The Stage is Set in Our Childhood
In my personal view and experience of being and staying in toxic relationships, the stage is set in our childhood, how we were conditioned or trained to relate. Often it is hard to recognise the true nature of the relationship; It matters not whether it is an intimate or professional relationship.
Toxicity is toxicity and it will choke the life out of you!
Getting and staying out of toxic relationships is – yes you know what I am going to say – an inside job. It starts and ends with you! Read these 10 facts about abusive relationships by
10 Facts About Abusive Relationships
- It’s not always loud. It’s not always obvious. The poison doesn’t always hit you like a gunshot. Sometimes, it seeps in quietly, slowly.
- Love is not draining. Love is not tiring.
- Apologies are like band-aids when what you really need is stitches– they don’t actually fix anything long-term.
- This is not your fault. You did not turn them into this. This is how they are.
- There will be fewer good days than bad days but the good days will be so amazing that it will feel like everything is better than it actually is.
- They do not love you. They can not love you. this is not love.
- You’re not wrong for wanting to run, so do it. Listen to what your gut is telling you.
- You will let them come back again and again before you realize that they only change long enough for you to let them in one more time.
- It’s okay to be selfish and leave.
- After, you will look back on this regretting all the chances given, and all the time wasted. You will think about what you know now, and what you would do differently if given the chance.
Read them again and as many times as you need to and get out if you recognise that you are in a toxic situation.
Be blessed and be a blessing.