Brazilian Butt Lifts Are The Deadliest of All

“Brazilian butt lifts are the deadliest of all aesthetic procedures – the risks explained” by Jim Frame, Anglia Ruskin University

The desire for a larger bottom is becoming more popular, with the number of so-called Brazilian butt lifts more than doubling in the last five years.

However, a recent high-profile case involving a doctor in Miami who was banned from operating after the death of a patient during surgery highlights the risks associated with having this procedure. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, the Brazilian butt lift (BBL) has the highest rate of death of all aesthetic procedures.

What is a Brazilian Butt Lift?

Some people have a BBL for aesthetic reasons, but many have it after losing lots of weight, serious disfigurement after pelvic trauma or practical problems, such as holding up trousers.

The procedure involves taking fat from areas of the body where it’s not wanted and transplanting it into the glutes to enlarge them.

To be successful, a fat graft needs nutrition and so has to be injected into tissue that has a blood supply. Fat can survive if injected into other fat, but up to 90% of it can be absorbed if it is. Fat has more chance of staying in place if it is inserted into muscle – but this is where the risk lies.

Injecting fat into the buttock can easily lead to serious problems if done incorrectly. These include a fat embolism when fat enters the bloodstream and blocks a blood vessel. In the lungs, for example, it blocks oxygen from entering the bloodstream, while in the brain it can cause a stroke – both can be fatal.

brazilian

The volume of fat is also important. Most surgeons consider 300ml – slightly less than a can of soda – to be a safe amount. However, some more experienced surgeons use a much larger volume of fat that may be measured in litres.

Why is The Mortality Rate So High?

A 2017 survey of 692 surgeons from across the world investigated the rate of mortality among patients undergoing BBL. Throughout their careers, the surgeons reported 32 cases of death from a fat embolism and 103 non-fatal cases, but there are probably many more that remain unreported.

Fat embolism was recently identified as the leading cause of death in aesthetic surgery. The estimated death rate from fat embolism may be as high as one in 3,000 for BBLs. A 2015 study of deaths from BBL surgery concluded that they probably occur as a result of gluteal blood vessels becoming damaged during the procedure, allowing fat to enter the bloodstream. The authors recommended that “buttocks lipo injection should be performed very carefully, avoiding injections into deep muscle planes”.

Deaths in the US have caused concern. In one recently reported case in the US that led to death from a fat embolism, surgeons believed injections had been made into superficial fat, but post-mortem fat was found in the heart and lungs. There was also some evidence of damage to gluteal blood vessels.

However, it should be noted that fat is also injected into the muscle for some breast enhancement surgery, with no reported deaths. This suggests that there are other factors involved in the high mortality rate among BBL patients.

Most of these deaths appear to have been caused by inappropriately qualified practitioners working in non-approved facilities, including homes and garages.

Other post-surgery problems, such as gangrene and sepsis, can also be fatal.

Is it Worth The Risk?

The potential risk of death from a fat embolism has to be weighed against the benefits, especially in cases where there are physical and functional benefits to having the surgery. In the case of the Brazilian butt lift, perhaps the risks outweigh the benefits.

Nevertheless, in a celebrity and beauty-obsessed society, the procedure remains popular, despite the risks. So it is important that surgeons make the risks of the procedure very clear to anyone considering it. Patient safety should always be the top priority. And surgeons need to do more to increase the safety of the procedure and lower the unnecessarily high mortality rate.

The Conversation

Credits

Jim Frame, Professor of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, Anglia Ruskin University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Are You In A Toxic Relationship?

We often think that toxic relationships occur only in intimate relationships but that really is not accurate.

Toxicity can arise among friends, parent-child, co-workers, and even mere acquaintances. Our tendency is to “blame” the other, whoever that may be, for the poisonous nature or for injecting the toxin into the relationship.

The Looks of a Toxic Relationship

The experts describe toxic relationships as those:

“…Characterized by behaviours on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and, not infrequently, physically damaging to their partner. While a healthy relationship contributes to our self-esteem and emotional energy, a toxic relationship damages self-esteem and drains energy.

A healthy relationship involves mutual caring, respect, and compassion, an interest in our partner’s welfare and growth, an ability to share control and decision-making, and in short, a shared desire for each other’s happiness.

It is a healthy relationship is a safe relationship, a relationship where we can be ourselves without fear, a place where we feel comfortable and secure. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is not a safe place. A toxic relationship is characterized by insecurity, self-centeredness, dominance, and control.

We risk our very being by staying in such a relationship. To say a toxic relationship is dysfunctional is, at best, an understatement.” (Source: Health ScopeMagazine)

The Stage is Set in Our Childhood

In my personal view and experience of being and staying in toxic relationships, the stage is set in our childhood, how we were conditioned or trained to relate. Often it is hard to recognise the true nature of the relationship; It matters not whether it is an intimate or professional relationship.

Toxicity is toxicity and it will choke the life out of you!

Getting and staying out of toxic relationships is – yes you know what I am going to say – an inside job. It starts and ends with you! Read these 10 facts about abusive relationships by Catarine Hancock, Author of how the words come.

toxic relationship

10 Facts About Abusive Relationships

  1. It’s not always loud. It’s not always obvious. The poison doesn’t always hit you like a gunshot. Sometimes, it seeps in quietly, slowly. 
  2. Love is not draining. Love is not tiring.
  3. Apologies are like band-aids when what you really need is stitches– they don’t actually fix anything long-term.
  4. This is not your fault. You did not turn them into this. This is how they are.
  5. There will be fewer good days than bad days but the good days will be so amazing that it will feel like everything is better than it actually is.
  6. They do not love you. They can not love you. this is not love.
  7. You’re not wrong for wanting to run, so do it. Listen to what your gut is telling you.
  8. You will let them come back again and again before you realize that they only change long enough for you to let them in one more time.
  9. It’s okay to be selfish and leave. 
  10. After, you will look back on this regretting all the chances given, and all the time wasted. You will think about what you know now, and what you would do differently if given the chance.

Read them again and as many times as you need to and get out if you recognise that you are in a toxic situation.

Be blessed and be a blessing.

2017

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Eight Ways You Can Help Women’s Rights

“Eight ways you can help women’s rights” by Jane Arscott, Athabasca University

International Women’s Day 2018 marks a pivotal moment for women’s rights, according to the United Nation’s Secretary General, Antonio Guterrez. In the entertainment industry, at workplaces, on social media, and in the streets, women demand an end to oppression and discrimination and zero tolerance for sexual assault and harassment.

Historical and structural inequalities that long flourished now lie exposed. Guterrez’s acknowledgement that gender equality and the empowerment of women and girls is the unfinished business of our time resounds around the world.

Women’s equality is among the most persistent human rights challenges of the last several generations. Globally, almost a third of the work women do is in agriculture. Much of the work is labour intensive and poorly paid, with inadequate labour rights protection.

Women’s Rights Is Still An Urgent Matter

Last year International Women’s Day was the largest event of the year on Facebook. Following #MeToo and #TimesUp the UN-sponsored day of global solidarity fans the flames that give gender equality its urgency today.

Until the world’s women live lives free of violence and poverty and lead half the world’s countries, gender justice will be on women’s to-do lists. In order to bring about gender equality, men will need to freely choose to do half the childcare, run half the world’s households and make just half the world’s decisions. Until then, women and their allies will march.

So long as women continue to live in fear, bear the brunt of austerity, and are excluded from decision-making to make life better for themselves and future generations, women and their allies will march. And, yes, the answer is the same this year as it was last year: We still need to “protest this shit.”

On March 8, 2018, women across the world will declare #MeToo more than a hashtag. They say through their actions that the time is up for gender injustice. Globally, women are united in their demands for safety, economic well-being and decision-making power in their families, communities, cultures, families, institutions and religions. It’s time.women's rights

Eight Ways To Make A Difference

Today and every day every woman, man and child can contribute to gender justice in eight simple ways as shared by the United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women, also known as UN Women:

1. Raise your voice

Voice amplifies, directs and changes the conversation. Don’t sit silently in meetings or conversations with friends when you have something to contribute to the conversation.

2. Support one another

Recognize inherent dignity in oneself and all other human beings through acceptance of identities different from one’s own.

3. Share the workload

Share the responsibility of creating safe environments for vulnerability to be freely expressed.

4. Get involved

Acknowledge that your actions are crucial to the creation of fairness and accountability. Identify your commitments. Speak about them, and act on them.

5. Educate the next generation

Listen actively and seek understanding. Share experience and knowledge to grow wisdom.

6. Know your rights

Human rights are women’s rights, and women’s rights are human rights. At their most basic, human rights concern reciprocity in human relationships that extend to all humanity and beyond.

7. Join the online conversation

Human beings express their identities and their aspirations through what they say. Join the IWD Conversation #TimeIsNow and #IWD2018. Social media amplifies women’s voices and emboldens their collective agency.

8. Give to the cause

women's rightsA Woman’s Right To Safety

It takes time and effort for the gender equality conversation to reach everyone. Consider giving to the cause by donating money or time.

Women are entitled to safety, inclusion, and fairness, and they will have them. No matter how ordinary, no matter how different, women confront current realities with tantalizing possibilities of dignity for all.

Seize the moment. Take Action. Transform lives everywhere. Be there. March. Be the Change. March 8. The time is now.The Conversation

Credits

Jane Arscott, Professor, Athabasca University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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What To Do When You Feel Stuck In A Life You Don’t Love

 

“What To Do When You Feel Stuck” by Melissa Quiter

When you read the title of this article, did you immediately think, “That is me?” Does your life feel like you have two legs submerged in a pit of quicksand and the more you push and pull and attempt to “get out,” the more submerged you get and the more tired you feel?

You are not alone. In fact, the next thing I tell you may sound less than inspiring. But read on, as you will soon find, the most challenging truths are actually the greatest opportunities for amazing joy.

The truth is that humans are destined to feel stuck at various points in their lives. There is no way to avoid it and no way to ignore it. Feeling stuck is an absolute given condition of human beings.

Being Stuck Is A Given

So, you may be asking, “Why is being stuck a given?” It is because humans are always growing, always changing and always evolving. There is never a moment when your body, mind or spirit stops recreating itself. Humans are always desiring (wanting something) – even if it is simply a breath of air. When you achieve a goal you have strived toward for years, that goal ceases to be a goal the minute it is attained. And just like you don’t get rid of bad thoughts or bad habits-you replace them with better thoughts or better behaviours – what you desire is constantly being replaced by what you desire next.

This doesn’t mean you are not momentarily happy with where you are. However, your mind seeks expansion. There is only so long that humans can stay satisfied with where they are before new desires pop into their heads. Desiring is what continually evolves the universe and the human spirit.

Another thing to be aware of is that you have multiple areas of your life that are happening simultaneously. I call these the Nine Environments of Holistic Living. In each of these environments, you have different goals and different intentions. You may be focused heavily on one or two areas, and after achieving amazing things in those areas, “suddenly” become aware of another area that is lacking in some way. You are now focusing on that neglected area. Regardless of how satisfied you are in the other areas, the neglected area, you are now focused on, feels stagnated and stuck. For example, a person who achieves a long-worked-for goal in her career may then shift her focus to relationships and feel stuck in a bad relationship or stuck in not having a relationship. It doesn’t take away from her career achievements, but the feeling is still there because the focus has shifted.stuck

The Frustration

The feeling of being stuck is simply you telling yourself that there is more that you desire in a given area or areas. The frustration of being stuck, and what may create negative emotions around it, is often caused when you aren’t sure how to make the changes you want to get unstuck. Thus, being stuck may create a panic inside of you that the situation will never change. The degree to which you feel the stuck-ness and how quickly you respond to this feeling often determines how being stuck affects you.

First, I think it is useful to define what being stuck really means. Being stuck may not mean what you think it means, which can be what makes being stuck feel so hopeless and frustrating. Being stuck is not a destination. It is not a life sentence. It also does not define who you are, just where you are at any given moment. Being stuck is simply a notification-a sign if you will-that it is time to start making something new and different happen in your life. When you are feeling stuck, it is simply another part of you tapping you on the proverbial shoulder saying, “Hey, I am no longer satisfied with where I am or what I have in a particular area and I need something else.”

Just like if you have ever driven a car and you stop at a red light. When the light turns green, that is your sign to get moving. Being stuck is simply a green light -a sign saying, it is time to get moving. The key is knowing how to get moving. This is where being stuck can feel like a horrible condition, a limiting circumstance and a trap. If you don’t know that pushing on the gas pedal will get you moving in your car, you can’t move.

Get Moving

If your car is in the wrong gear, you can’t move. And if you resist that the light is green, you cannot move. If you resist that you feel stuck (which means you don’t welcome the emotion, but instead get caught up in the feelings of being trapped and hampered), you actually put your focus on the being stuck, instead of your focus on the sign to get moving. If you embrace that the sign is there, you then have the freedom to explore the options for how to get moving. When you have the freedom to explore, you can usually create change pretty quickly.

This may sound a bit confusing, so let me be as clear as possible given this is a critical piece for allowing yourself to get unstuck. By acknowledging that you are in a place you don’t want to be, but not delving into the emotions of being there, you free up your energy to focus on where you do want to be. You free up your energy to focus on what you do want, not what you don’t want.

Law of Attraction

This is the foundation of the Law of Attraction, which says that what you focus your energy on is what you attract to you wanted or unwanted. Learning to use being stuck as a positive sign that you are desiring more, opens you up to ask how to get it, instead of delving into the emotions of being where you don’t want to be, and fearing you are always going to be there.

No matter what question you ask yourself, you will get an answer. If you ask yourself why am I stuck here? What did I do to deserve this? Why does this always happen to me? Am I going to be here forever?-you will get an answer. And, most likely, you will get an answer that won’t assist you in pushing on your gas pedal or figuring out you are in the wrong gear. If you ask empowering questions, like-What do I want that I don’t have? How can I get it? What have I been doing and what can I do differently?-you begin focusing on answers that will propel you forward.

Getting Unstuck

stuckGetting unstuck can be an easy and smooth process. The key is using the proper tools to assist you. Using tools-questions, exercises, programs, processes, other people, etc.-is the number one way to re-directing your focus. Tools are how humans create in the universe. Learning and using the tools of notes and instruments are what allow you to make music. Learning and using hammers, nails and engineering are what allow you to construct buildings. Learning and using the alphabet, grammar and paper or computers are what allow you to write novels and poetry. Getting unstuck, changing your life, and manifesting your desires are done by learning and using the natural tools of creating-the Law of Attraction, the Nine Environments of Holistic Living, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the Process of Deliberate Creation, the Prosperity Process, the Power of Intention, the Universal Laws, Law of Attraction Coaches, Messages from Abraham or Seth, etc.

No one has to stay stuck. No one has to live a life they don’t love. It is simply recognizing the sign that it is time to make a change. Then, assessing what tools will assist in making that change, and beginning the process. Embrace the feeling of being stuck so you can get moving, seek out the tools you need and start today.

Here is to your freedom!

Credits

Author Bio

Melissa Jean Quiter is an inspirational life and business strategist with Provocative Communications. She is the author of the 4-phase, life and business-changing program, “Being Spiritual Doesn’t Mean Being Poor! How to remove what blocks you from making money & creating happiness,” based on the Law of Attraction and the three required elements (the universal laws, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the Nine Environments of Holistic Living) to ensure your success 100% of the time. To get started, visit www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/takingcontrol.html. Melissa also teaches a simple, yet profound, daily process for deliberately creating your life in her book, “My cat made me a millionaire… (and how yours can too!),” available here: www.ProvocativeCommunications.com/cat.html. E-mail: Quiter@Texas.net or call: (512) 341-0556.

Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com – Free Website Content

 

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5 Ways To Deal With Burnout At Work

“5 ways to deal with burnout at work” by Claudine Mangen, Concordia University

Work has become an around-the-clock activity, courtesy of the pandemic and technology that makes us reachable anytime, anywhere. Throw in expectations to deliver fast and create faster and it becomes hard to take a step back.

Not surprisingly, many of us are feeling burned out. Burnout — which often affects women more than men — happens everywhere. Particularly challenged during the pandemic, however, are teachers and healthcare workers.

So we know burnout happens and that a lot of us are experiencing it, but how can we get out of it?

Dealing With Burnout Checklist

Burnout is a serious problem that deserves all of our attention. My research, which studies employees across various organizations and the work practices they engage in, helps me understand how to address common widespread problems like burnout.

1. Set boundaries

People need and are entitled to boundaries. We don’t have to avail ourselves 24/7 for work, despite societal pressures that make us feel like we do.

We must rest for the sake of our health, including our sleep, eating habits, physical well-being and quality of life.

It’s important to also remember that people around us can be affected when we don’t set boundaries. For example, burnout among nurses is associated with lower quality patient care and lower commitment to the workplace. Loved ones can be affected too. We can take the stress from work home and be angrier, less supportive and more withdrawn from our spouses.

2. Stick to contractual engagements

Check your employment contract or collective agreement. Figure out how much you’re expected to work, and what you have to deliver and stick to it: work won’t love you back no matter how much you give.

If you’re entitled to vacation, take it. The same principle holds for sick leave: if you’re entitled to it, take it when you are unwell so you can get better.burnout

3. Prioritize yourself

You need to know and be mindful of who you are, what you want and how you spend your days.

Ask yourself why you do your work and what you wish to get out of it. What are you willing to sacrifice to get there, and what not? What else in your life is crucial? What do you not want to regret later?

Take time to think through these questions and how your life aligns with your priorities. Do your days mirror your preferences? If not, why and how not?

Think about what you can change, try to spend your days differently and observe the result. If something works better, integrate it into your daily rituals; if not, try something new.

4. Talk about burnout at work

There is only so much we can do individually to address burnout, which is far from a unique problem.

As employees we need to question, rethink and repair organizations that generate overwork — it is important to not only have these conversations with yourself, friends and family but in the workplace too.

Organizations should want to address burnout since it isn’t good for them and leads to higher employee turnover and lost revenue related to lower productivity. But organizations are difficult to fix.

They often can’t or don’t want to see how they’re the problem. And they respond by proposing individual solutions to what is a collective, systemic problem — wellness programs and yoga classes won’t help with overwork.

If you have the energy to try and address organizational overwork, start small. You can talk to trusted colleagues about their experiences and share stories, which helps raise awareness about how burnout is a collective larger issue.

5. Acknowledge this isn’t a you problem

A more significant role falls on leaders who have the power and resources to change work. If their employees burn out, it’s because they are OK with it.

Responsible leaders should reach out to employees to inquire about burnout. They should understand how their organization contributes to it. This might involve asking how work is set up, how information technology affects work and how employees are — or aren’t — supported.

Leaders set the tone and model what is acceptable — like overworking or taking time for yourself. Ultimately, if overwork is ingrained in company culture, we need to realize that the problem is the organization.

Burnout is a serious problem that deserves all of our attention.
The Conversation

Credits

Claudine Mangen, RBC Professor in Responsible Organizations and Associate Professor, Concordia University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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What Nelson Mandela Can Teach Us

“What Nelson Mandela can teach us about lifelong, dialogue-rich learning” by  Peter Rule, Stellenbosch University

Nelson Mandela’s life and writings reveal his fascination with education. The late statesman’s autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, often profiles characters by their education and what he learnt from them. Mandela pursued his own learning actively, curiously and indefatigably in many different settings.

He is also an exemplar of lifelong learning that is profoundly dialogic in nature. This entails a kind of learning that involves continuing, interlinked dialogues with others, oneself and the world around one. It is central to developing as a person. In Mandela’s case, this learning was based on the values of openness, humility, critical reflection and commitment to justice.

So, what lessons can others who wish never to stop learning drawn from Mandela’s example?

Traditional Learning and Lessons in Leadership

Mandela’s education can be understood as a layered cake but with interfusing ingredients. The first layer was a traditional Thembu upbringing in South Africa’s rural Eastern Cape province. This steeped him in oral tradition and history. His civic education came from watching Chief Jongintaba Dalindyebo, the acting regent of the Thembu people, hold court at his Great Place.

These were tribal meetings to discuss matters of importance to the Thembu. All Thembu were free to attend and anyone who wanted to speak did so.

In this way, Mandela learnt a style of leadership which emphasised listening to everyone’s views – including criticism of the leader himself – as well as discerning, summarising and “endeavouring to find a consensus”, as he recalls in his autobiography. Democracy, he learnt, meant hearing everyone and taking a decision together as a people.

Mandela Formal Schooling

The second layer was formal primary and secondary schooling at Wesleyan mission institutions. Although he rebelled against colonial attitudes and authorities, he retained an abiding legacy of mission education: he admired parliamentary democracy, a Christian value system of service, decorum and good conduct, and the English language as a unifying force against ethnic divisions.

Mandela’s higher education was perhaps not as significant for its formal instruction as for relationships and informal learning. At what was then the University College of Fort Hare he was exposed to African role models like academic, author and African National Congress (ANC) stalwart ZK Matthews.

At the University of the Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, the man who would one day become South Africa’s first democratically elected and first black president met progressive law students of different races and backgrounds. His professional education included his law degree – but more profoundly, his practical law experience.

As a legal clerk at the only white law firm that would take on black employees, he learnt from his mentor Lazar Sidelsky “to serve our country” and that law could be used “to change society”.

Later, as a partner in Mandela and Tambo, he was conscientious of the myriad sufferings of black people at the hands of the apartheid machinery. In Long Walk to Freedom he writes:

We heard and saw the thousands of humiliations that ordinary Africans confronted every day of their lives.

mandelaA Political Education

Mandela’s political education was strongly influenced by popular struggles. He participated in the Defiance Campaign of the 1950s, a massive and non-violent response to the apartheid government’s racist laws. During the 1960s, after organisations like the ANC had been banned, he remained involved in the movement underground.

The “prison education” of Robben Island, where Mandela spent more than two decades after being convicted of sabotage, was the final layer of learning.

Here, Mandela learned about how to survive in extreme conditions. The prison was another site in the greater struggle to liberate South Africa. While learning the practical value of collective strength and solidarity, Mandela also learned to cultivate relationships, especially with prison warders, seeing even hostile enemies as human beings and potential allies.

Dialogic Lifelong Learning of Mandela

Through all these layers of education, Mandela exemplified dialogic lifelong learning. It was life-wide, lifelong and life-deep. First, he learnt through dialogue with others. These included friends and mentors like Walter Sisulu and Anton Lembede in the ANC Youth League – but also Communists, who were both rivals and comrades.

He gleaned lessons and insights even from enemies like prison warders and National Party ministers. He was able to transcend the dehumanising view of “the other” inculcated by colonialism and apartheid with a humanising view of “another”: a human being with his or her own particular personality, history and formation. Secure in himself, this transcendence did not involve surrendering his standpoint or denying differences.

Second, he learnt through dialogue with himself. At crucial moments, he was able to reflect critically on what had happened and what it meant. Sometimes an uncomfortable encounter prompted this. In the 1940s he met the Basotho queen regent and she reproached him for not being able to speak Sesotho.

“What kind of lawyer and leader will you be who can’t speak the language of your own people?” she demanded. This prompted Mandela’s shift in attitude from Thembu tribalist to a South African nationalist who embraced all of its peoples and languages.

Third, Mandela showed a continuing learning dialogue with the collective of the ANC. Its history, ethos and policies were a constant reference point for him, even though at times he contested policy, disobeyed it and even took secret initiatives leading into uncharted territory. Nevertheless, the collective of the ANC was the frame for his learning for nearly seven decades.

mandelaPerhaps the most striking of Mandela’s learning dialogues was his changing context. He could read and respond to the signs of the times in very different settings – such as when re-entering public life as a septuagenarian in the 1990s in an extremely volatile national and global context.

These four moments of Mandela’s dialogic lifelong learning – dialogue with others, with self, with the collective and with context – are not discrete. They constantly interact.

At his trial in 1961, Mandela declared:

The struggle is my life.

From his life and his struggle, his own dialogic lifelong learning stands out as a key attribute and legacy.The Conversation

Credits

Peter Rule, Associate Professor, Centre for Higher and Adult Education, Stellenbosch University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Women? Fight Against Each Other? No…

The idea that women “fight against” each other is such an ancient one that it has become somewhat like a law of life or rules of the game, so to speak. I am not sure where it has its roots or whether it is a mythical or psychological tale that someone spun many years ago that we have managed to perpetuate.

One thing that I know for sure is that this pattern of behaviour: backstabbing, pulling at each other’s skirt tails, and attempting to drag another woman off of the proverbial ladder has marred and scarred so many of us.

In my own experience, women were never considered to be my friends for a very long time but someone to compete with for limited resources. Whether it was the affection of a man or a coveted promotion, I practised and mastered (I hate to admit) the art of “women being our own worst enemies.”

Fight Or Understand Her

A demure woman was the first to begin tutoring me to change my attitude. She reminded me that all my behaviour towards others is a reflection of, not their, but my demons.

Really?

Yes, really and as the years went by and the lessons deepened, I began to understand the truth of this lesson. Learning to love myself, to erase as best as I could the recording of the most significant woman in my life, my mother, putting me down, my wings grew and my heart expanded.

Today, at the ripe old age of 57, some of the most important lessons that must be passed on to young girls are:

  1. Self-love and self-respect
  2. Cooperation over competition
  3. Truth and honour above all else

What about you? What story will you be telling of woman- and sisterhood.

Share your view with us on this or any of our topics in this blog in the comments below. You can also visit us on Facebook.

Be blessed and be a  blessing,

2017

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Want To Become A Better Person? Travel!

“Want to become a better person? Travelling more might be the answer,” by Héctor González-Jiménez, ESCP Business School

Travelling offers new experiences and can open people’s minds. It allows you to get out of your daily groove – of work, commuting, housework and cooking – to think about the things that really matter and enjoy some quality time in a different place.

Of course, with growing awareness of the environmental impact of long-haul flights and tourism, many people are now opting for more sustainable methods of travel – with some choosing staycations over trips overseas. But given that my previous research shows the positive impact cultural diversity can have on a person’s well-being, it makes sense to not miss out on those trips abroad entirely. Instead, look for more environmentally friendly ways to travel to different countries.

My study found that having an enhanced affinity towards different cultures and global connectedness – also known as a “cosmopolitan” outlook – means you are more likely to have a better relationship with, and a more positive appreciation of your body. You can develop a cosmopolitan outlook quite easily, simply by travelling, interacting with a diverse set of people, learning new languages, experiencing foreign foods and embracing an open mindset. And my research shows how the benefits of this type of global mindset can translate well beyond every day, and can actually influence who we are as people – and how we think about ourselves.

travelTravel Can Influence Us To Be Better

But travelling doesn’t just change the way we think about ourselves, it stands to reason that it can also influence the way we behave. Scholars argue that by acquiring knowledge of other places and people, travel can make us more peaceful in our interactions with others, while also spurring volunteering for global causes.

Research in social psychology also shows that culture influences peoples’ concept of “the self” – the image a person has about themselves.
Take Japan, for instance. Japanese people tend to see their self as interdependent with others. It’s no secret that Japanese people are community-oriented, respectful and kind to visitors. These are all attributes that help to contribute to a more balanced co-existence on the islands. Some western societies on the other hand, such as the US and the UK, emphasise more of a self that is independent of others with a focus on individual goals and achievements.

Mirroring (Better) Behaviour

Of course, Japanese society is not without its challenges and crowded places. To successfully navigate such an environment, it is essential for citizens to adopt communal and empathetic behaviours towards each other. For instance, in Japan people do not speak on their mobile phones on the train or subway, to avoid disturbing others that may be tired after a long day of work.

And on rainy days they do not take their wet umbrellas into stores, the train or the subway. Rather they leave their umbrella in a basket at their local station to avoid wetting others while standing on the crowded train. Upon their return, the umbrellas will still be there in the unprotected basket at the station.

Could it be, then, that exposure to these types of positive behaviours could motivate travellers to adopt them and subsequently take their “improved manners” back home?

Scientifically, this phenomenon may be explained by “mirror neurons”. As the name implies, mirror neurons are linked to the “mirroring” of others’ behaviours. Initially explored to explain ape’s social behaviour, there is growing evidence that mirror neurons are also evident in humans.

Nested in our brains, researchers argue that mirror neurons fire not only while executing an action, but also while observing somebody else performing the same or similar action. Neuroscientific evidence also suggests that specific brain regions are tied to an interdependent self, and that mirror neurons play a role in how a person integrates information about themself and others.

Wired For Empathy

betterResearch also suggests that the relationship between mirror neurons and imitation is linked to an evolutionary process that made us wired to develop a more empathetic self. Broadly speaking, empathy has to do with the sensing and sharing of feelings of one person with another – connecting people in mutual dependency.

In this way, empathy is an important attribute needed to become a better person and mirror neurons seem to be the ideal cells to support cooperative behaviour among people. So it stands to reason that experiencing and observing empathetic behaviour during travels that you haven’t come across before, may activate your mirror neuron system.

And it could well be that travellers integrate this empathetic behaviour as part of their brain – leading to more considerate interactions with others even after returning home. So maybe this is what people mean when they say they feel changed or inspired by their time away. Either way, it’s clear that getting a change of scenery every so often can be beneficial for our minds, bodies and maybe even our manners.

So when it comes to thinking about your next trip, try to choose somewhere that protects the local environment and respects human rights – and use local businesses rather than multinationals when booking your flights and accommodation. That way you can not only help to better yourself but also the world around you.

The Conversation

Credits

Héctor González-Jiménez, Associate Professor in Marketing, ESCP Business School

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Change: Do You Do It Or Does It Undo You?

“Change” by Connie Butler

It has been said that CHANGE is THE only constant. Change is all around us every day and every day our lives are changing. It CAN’T be avoided. We can’t bury our heads in the sand or a favoured pillow and pretend it isn’t there.

  • Sometimes it creeps up slowly: over time we’ve gotten older, gradually the kids grow and leave, and incrementally our health fails.
  • Other times it is thrust on us: “out of the blue” divorce is upon us, our work demands that we relocate, and we are moved from one level of success to another.
  • Or sometimes we wake up and realize we have to make a change: we have all of the money and lifestyle trappings we want but something is not right at the core, we are not where we want to be at this stage of life, we can’t see what is next.

Change is like the water that our lives are held in and the question becomes do you know how to navigate your boat, yacht or life raft into and through the current of change to the best place possible? When you don’t navigate the waterways well you can be lost at sea for much too long, your resources and dreams are depleted, and you can be reduced to just existing. Recovering from an experience like this can be costly, eat up valuable time and leave you jaded or disillusioned. Your life energy is sapped. And you are left confused and fearful.

Awakening Change

But change can be a great awakening. In retrospect, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you. It can contain rewards that you never dreamed of. But in order to access THAT level of change, you have to be the captain of the change. If you want growth to succeed, how to set goals effectively and navigating change is the key. You have to muster all of your internal and external resources, all of your navigational skills and make it work FOR you- whatever the change is.

If you don’t do something new in the face of change you often merely create the same outworn results. If you don’t change your strategy you repeat old patterns of behaviour and thinking. You miss the larger possibility and you don’t create the life you really want for yourself and your family.

One of my current clients is a woman who came to me during a huge health, financial and relocation crisis. The change was upon her, big time, on almost all levels you can imagine. She had a recurrence of cancer-based disease; she had to move across the country, and her finances were scarily low. In our work together she has moved from that place of deep insecurity and confusion to a place where she is settled, more at peace with herself than she has ever been and is now growing a remarkably successful wholesale business. She is fulfilling the dream of the kind of business and life she has always wanted for herself. She is building self-esteem. She could never have done this without the right kind of support and she is the first one to attest to that.

Another client has suffered from divorce and loss that was blocking her from finishing her dissertation. She was stuck in self-doubt, and procrastination, with no vision of the future.

She is now close to finishing her dissertation and the last months have been exceedingly rich and empowering for her. Visions of her next steps are forming. She is excited about possibilities where previously she could not sense a direction.

Both decided to make a change and make it work for them. They found the support, accessed the resources and built the determination that was needed to navigate into a current that is moving them clearly and safely forward.

change

Changes You Grow Through

In looking at their process and that of other clients I have seen a progression of steps that occur when you are moving through change.

As the change happens you normally:

C: Choke -this is the time when you feel overwhelmed, confused, fearful and often do nothing. Spending too much time in this phase can seriously undermine your energy, usurp your resources and make it more difficult to deal with the change.

H: Handle the Hurdles – You “wake up” and realize you have to do SOMETHING, sometimes anything. Occasionally people in this phase can see the priorities and begin to handle them- more often they avoid the most important issues in an effort to just do something.

A: Access Support – This is the turning point. You realize that you cannot do it on your own. You need a trusted ear. You require someone who can see through the confusion of the change and help you build a viable plan of action. Albert Einstein said that we cannot solve a problem on the same level at which it was created. In order to find that other level, you need someone who can look at the whole picture, someone who isn’t clouded by emotional responses, and someone who has your best interests in mind.

N: New Possibilities – Embedded in each change is a possibility. If you continue an old pattern of behaviour or thinking – you will miss it. Unfortunately, we are often myopic when it comes to recognizing creative solutions. This step requires someone to help you see and hold the larger possibility, the picture that you may be missing.

G: Grow to the Next Level – This is the part that many people skip over. If you do – the whole gift that is at the centre of the change will elude you. In order to “do the change”, and make it work FOR you, it is essential that you develop the qualities, the skills, and the heart to effectively work with the change. As you do this you begin to recognize whole new levels of satisfaction and power within yourself. These developments are yours- you will use them in everything else you attempt in life. They become second nature.

E: Enjoy – This is the fabulous stage when you can step back and look at the whole experience you have been through. You recognize yourself as the prime navigator of the change. You can feel the sun of success, and the warm breezes of pleasure as you begin to really ENJOY where you have arrived. And you KNOW that if needed you can navigate CHANGE again.

Credits

Author Bio
Connie Butler is a personal and professional coach working to engineer effective change. She is available for personal/professional coaching & seminars. Ms Butler is an international coach, published author and radio personality.

Article Source: http://www.ArticleGeek.com – Free Website Content

 

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This Canada Day, Settler Canadians Should Think About ‘Land Back’

Canada Day: Settler Canadians should think about ‘land back’ by Kaitie Jourdeuil, Queen’s University, Ontario

Last Canada Day, Parliament Hill teemed with orange as thousands marched in response to the unmarked graves of Indigenous children being found at former residential school sites. #CancelCanadaDay trended on social media while Prime Minister Justin Trudeau urged Canadians to reflect on the country’s failures.

As in-person festivities return to Ottawa for the first time since 2019, it appears to be business as usual. But should it be?

For most settler Canadians — myself included — July 1 is a day to celebrate the rights, freedoms and privileges that come with being Canadian. Privileges, however, come with responsibilities. A crucial one for settler Canadians is to build meaningful relationships with Indigenous people and nations.

Many Canadians dislike being labelled “settlers.” The term refers to non-Indigenous people who, or whose ancestors, settled on Indigenous land, although recent debates question the inclusion of descendants of slaves and non-white immigrants.

As a white scholar studying territorial rights, I see my status as a settler as part of being Canadian. It is not an accusation, but a reality of living on unceded Indigenous lands. It is a recognition that the benefits Canadians enjoy are built on the denial of Indigenous Peoples’ rights to self-determination of their land according to their laws.

Settler Canadians have a responsibility to build respectful, reciprocal relationships with Indigenous nations in our shared geographic space. This relationship starts with land restitution.

canadaCanada: What is Land Restitution?

For many settler Canadians, “land back” discussions generate anxiety and discomfort. Contrary to people’s perceptions, however, land back does not mean the removal of all non-Indigenous people from North America. Instead, as many Indigenous leaders have argued, it is about restitution: the return of jurisdictional control to Indigenous nations.

In legal and political philosophy, jurisdiction is the right to make and enforce laws over a geographic area. It also often includes control over the extraction and development of natural resources.

When we talk about restitution in Canada, we are talking about Crown land — land owned by federal and provincial governments. Eighty-nine per cent of Canada’s land is Crown land, while the other 11 per cent is privately owned.

Indigenous land rights in Canada are protected under Section 35 of the Constitution as Aboriginal title. These are special rights that flow from Indigenous nations’ political sovereignty.

Aboriginal title, however, is not the same as restitution. This is because Canada has ultimate legal authority — or “Crown sovereignty” — over all land within its borders.

Why Does Restitution Matter?

Indigenous nations’ jurisdictional rights are recognized in the Royal Proclamation of 1763 and the United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples. They are also recognized in treaties.

Canada has ignored many of its treaty obligations, but treaties are integral to land restitution. They recognize Indigenous nations as “separate but equal” with their own constitutional orders and governance structures that share the land with the Canadian state.

Land restitution also has larger, positive implications. A 2019 United Nations Report on the biodiversity found that Indigenous jurisdictions can mitigate biodiversity loss. This is because Indigenous practices emphasize land restoration and sustainability. Land restitution, then, is also crucial in stopping the climate crisis.

It is important to note that Indigenous nations do not need settler consent to exercise their jurisdiction over land, and many do so, despite violent resistance from the Canadian state. Ending this violence requires settlers to recognize their responsibility to support restitution.canada

How are Settlers Responsible?

Colonialism is perceived as a “sad chapter” in Canada’s history, for which settlers must make amends. But colonialism is not in the past: it continues in the present through government policies and institutions and the denial of Indigenous Peoples’ rights.

We often think of responsibility in terms of liability — someone is responsible when they cause or fail to prevent harm. Responsibility, however, can also be political: people can be responsible because they benefit from unjust institutions. They can also be responsible by virtue of their membership in a political collective, like the Canadian state.

So settler Canadians have a collective responsibility as Canadians to support land restitution — regardless of our individual actions. This is because land restitution is required for building just relations with Indigenous people and nations.

The first step is to critically engage with the meaning of being a settler Canadian. One way to do this is to learn about whose land you live on and the history of that land. If you live on treaty land, what are your responsibilities? Another is to hold your elected representatives accountable: How are they advancing justice for Indigenous Peoples? Are they working to implement the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s 94 Calls to Action or the Calls for Justice from the National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls?

Canada Day can be a day to celebrate the privileges we enjoy as Canadians. However, we must also acknowledge that we enjoy these privileges as settlers. This Canada Day, settler Canadians should take time to reflect on our responsibilities to build a better future: one that all sovereign nations on this land can celebrate.The Conversation

Credits

Kaitie Jourdeuil, PhD Candidate in Political Theory, Queen’s University, Ontario

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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