Women, Stop Fighting Each Other!

Women and fighting, unfortunately, can oftentimes be synonymous.

Before going to bed at nights, one of my routines is to view some Facebook Watch videos. What is noticeable of late, again, unfortunately, is the number of videos of women fighting each other and degrading themselves. Why? They are trying to “buss.” That is the Jamaican parlance for making it big, breakout, overnight sensation.

Right Up There With Sex

There was a time when the slogan was “Sex sells.” Things are changing and expanding. We have said this repeatedly since this blog started, that people and women, in particular, have to find new ways of earning a living.

Chicken-raising, buying and selling on every street corner, hustling will have to be modified, turnt’ up! In at least two posts recently, we gave some ideas about possible ventures. Even here in Canada, my daughter and I have been discussing and pouring over business ideas and side gigs that could bring in additional funds into her household.

It will not be business as usual when this pandemic finally ends and the spread COVID-19 is under control. Women have to think fast and act even more quickly to be part of the new wave of changing economies.

However, fighting each other to get a ‘buss’ is not it.

Not everyone can be a singer – some people best shut their mouths. Even fewer are going to be movie stars or reality television celebrities. That, however, is not stopping so many from trying. And they are verbally maiming, slandering and even attacking each other trying! The problem is no one wants to be themselves anymore. Everyone is copying someone else, hoping to get to their level of success without the work. So many are such fakes.

Facebook: The Root Of Fakeness?

Seems to me that this urgent need to “buss” has its genesis in Facebook and its spinoff social media platforms. Fact is, after Facebook “buss” and morphed into the mega-making bucks platform, fame, if not fortune, seemed in everyone’s reach.

Facebook net worth as of August 21, 2020 is $760.66B.” Macrotrends

What started out as a “book” where family and friends could reunite and stay in touch more frequently through pictures and updates, turned into a behemoth of fight club!

On a personal level, Facebook brought me in touch with family members who forgot about me for close to 30 years. My late husband first made contact with me via Facebook, two years later we were wed. Social media can be and is a beautiful thing. There is the dark side, however, the side that has women exposing themselves, being the most vulgar and hating on each other for clicks.

Women, Remember Friendships Are Better Than $$

The advent of Facebook changed the meaning of friends in many ways. Granted it is not totally culpable for everything about superficial friendships or the fights that we see today. This started way back when. However, back then, as far as I can recall, not everyone was our “friend.” There were people we genuinely disliked, did not care for some or many things about them and would not be caught dead in their company.

These people were definitely not confidante material. Now, everybody knows our business. That is mostly true of me, truth be told, as it is my tendency to put a lot out there. Yes, I have the explanation that my “mess is my message,” hence the tell-all style of my blog and profiles.

Even I, however, keep somethings to myself. And most certainly, you would not catch me (or any of the women of Daughters of Sheba Foundation) fighting and scandalizing themselves or others for “Likes” or clicks.

We have to recognize the reality of what is happening. Facebook, in particular, is a real threat to democracies and quality of life across the world.

Look Out For These Three

Over my years on social media and most certainly over my life, fake friends have been many. Not to mention the fake loves! Oftentimes, they will start out as ‘friends’ or followers who seem as if they are interested in your life and/or what you are presenting. Soon enough, many will show their true colours. That is why we see so many women, and some men, fighting on social media.

For the sake of brevity and not to bore you, here are the three most prevalent and most dangerous.

1. The “I need … .” These are the people, whether in person or through your inbox, who after hello have an “I need …” sentence. Whether that is a favour, for you to do something for them or to borrow money for a few days. The “I need” you fake friends are users. There are no two ways about it.
2. The ones who are most annoying are the “Drive-by“ friends. They can be as dangerous as those gangsters in movies who behave similarly armed with a weapon. Their only goal in your life is to drive by your profile, through your life or your business and cause chaos. Worst case, they also cause death to life as you know it. If you are lucky, just destruction. You can rebuild from the dust. With a smile on their face, these ‘friends’ are lethal with their opinions, gossip and schemes. They are there to disturb the peace, your peace.
3. Weasels – these are the ones to avoid like the plague! Remember the nursery rhyme “Pop goes the weasels?” This is exactly what they do. They pop up in your life, usually at your most vulnerable. They feign interest but only long enough to get what they came for. If you get taken in, you will find yourself tapped out and alone.

Be What You Want To See

Mahatma Gandhi is accredited as suggesting that each of us must “be the change that you want to see in the world.” However, whether he actually did has been contested. Read somewhere that what he did say is:

We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”

Either one or actually both are so relevant to what we are seeing on social media and in our world today. For us here at Daughters of Sheba Foundation, as much as we want to increase traffic to our website and particularly to our Student Data Grant campaign, we will not do sex or scandalous posts to get them.

Call us boring but we still believe in setting an example for children and anyone watching us. We still believe that we must daily check our internal world as that is what we will project to the outer world – you.

We are not waiting or watching to see what others do. Our intention is to “lift women and children out of poverty” and our understanding is that poverty is not just an economic thing. Poverty is also mental, physical and emotional. That is why our work touches and targets all these areas.

Please join forces with us, help us to share and remind others that this is the original purpose. The fighting and scandals – while they might get you clicks – are temporary. Raise your game!

Take some time to share this post and visit our social media profiles – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube. We are grateful for every share as that means at least one more will see a different way, an un-fake, a real way to be in our world.

Peace and Love,