My Baby Died: How Do I Go On?

Posted on December 15, 2021 by Clara Brown

How do I, how do you go on when the most devastating thing that one can imagine, happens?

There are many people who will simply not celebrate Christmas this year, another year perhaps.

This story was shared before on a previous Daughters of Sheba Blog. However, it is shared again today to help someone, anyone, particularly a mother grieving the death of her child.

Christmas is about birthing and so talking about a loss might seem counter-productive. The hope is that by sharing this piece of my journey, someone, a mother in particular may find peace or at least begin the walk to it.

My Baby Died: How Do I Go On?

Every state of mind is directly affected by the flow of love within and without.  There is only one thing that truly fills the emptiness. That thing is called LOVE. The lack of love causes an inner emptiness that no substance, no bingeing, no external intervention can fill.  Inner emptiness comes from a lack of connection with our spiritual source of love.

The truth of who I am comes only from my personal source of spiritual guidance—-whatever that is.  When I open to learning, that guidance ‘system’, let us say, teaches me about the truth of who I am.  Through the life of my second baby, I learned how to completely open myself to an in-pouring of Love. It was a painful, emptying lesson but one that is one of my darkest moments seeped into my heart and filled my inner emptiness. How do I go on?

how do iLove’s Infilling

That in-filling of Love came upon me about 10 years ago when our second son, Justin was born. I had an almost perfect pregnancy.  On June 4, my baby, Justin came into the world.

I was overjoyed because we had no idea of the baby’s gender.  We deliberately did not ask or want to find out prior to his arrival.  The sound of words “It’s a boy,” rang sweetly in my ears—even to this day.

Twenty-four hours later, my Obstetrician-Gynecologist came to my bedside and delivered the devastating news. He said that our bouncing 6 ½ pound baby had a medical problem.  He had a serious heart defect. Baby Justin’s heart chambers were malformed. The doctor went on to explain, in the best way he could, the medical options that were available to us.  It was clear that he was having a difficult time speaking to me as by then I was uncontrollable, bawling my eyes out.  He asked for my partner’s number and amid the din of my screams, the doctor tried to explain the situation to him.

The Day My Baby Died

Fast forward to the 27th of July. Baby Justin started to show signs of a failing heart. His heart rate dropped. He had stopped eating. His cries became a faint moan.  We were well prepared by his doctors to know what these signs meant. I rushed him to the Bustamante Children’s Hospital here in Kingston, Jamaica.

There began a journey of a million steps.

For three weeks, we travelled the route to and from the hospital while our team of medical professionals made arrangements with their counterparts overseas for us to travel there. They thought that we could get further medical help there, as soon as Baby Justin was physically stable enough to travel. That would not be the case.

August 20 came and a piece of us died when Baby Justin made his transition.

The Depth Of Emptiness

how do iFor the first time during this ordeal, an enormous emptiness overtook my core.

It was so overwhelming – like nothing that I have ever experienced. I was sure there was no return. How could I get out of there? Only if I could find the strength to reach out, stretch my trembling hands up to the edge of the deep well of darkness and sadness that Baby Justin’s death had dragged me down. No, kicked me down.

In a last-ditch attempt, I pulled my zombie-like self together and three days after my baby’s passing, I cried out to Source to fill my emptiness. To make me feel alive again. Looking back, I am convinced that Source immediately responded.

Suddenly, I was reminded that I still had my first-born son, Jared. I had family, friends who had turned family.  I still had LOVE.  As suddenly, Love became more than anything. Love was poured into my soul and I, in turn, opened up myself to receiving it, realizing that my capacity to love and be loved is infinite.

Background

This was the most intimate piece I have ever written to be shared by Daughters of Sheba. When I was told about the request from a reader, responding to our survey “What Woman-Related Topic Should We Do Next?” Claudette asked me to do this piece.

Since Baby Justin’s passing, I have s leaned in many times, relying on God to help her fill her emptiness. I received the infilling from my first-born child, who is now 18+ years old, my family and my friends have been the channels.

Much love,

Clara ❤️

 

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Clutter: Here Are Some Reasons To Let It Go

Posted on December 14, 2021 by ClaudetteE

“Clutter is my natural habitat.” ― Maggie Stiefvater

Many do feel that way about clutter. Frankly, even I do until it gets too much.

Any time of the year is good to release clutter from our lives especially the type that is in focus here. Unless you are a hoarder, physical congestion in our space is problematic for moving around.

Today it is the emotional congestion on my mind.

“Don’t own so much clutter that you will be relieved to see your house catch fire.” Wendell Berry

The Clutter We Hang On To

This might sound weird but I have to say I love moving. Well, used to love moving.

As a child and over the years my family has changed places of residence so many times. Until about six years ago, I looked forward to the “newness” that comes with relocating. The thought of decorating a new place gave me a rush that others get from substances or fast cars.

clutterSimilar to those seeking a rush from substances or sex even, my excitement came from stuff. This included mats, rugs and sometimes even appliances to match the new décor – not to mention the bathroom stuff! I am notorious for buying things for the bathroom.

During one of my many moves in 2008 when this post was first written, I was in the last throes of another move. This time it was relocating from Edmonton. Work was taking me away to another city.

For someone who has moved twice on the same street in less than two years, one would think it would be painless. Wrong!

Amidst the recycling bags bursting at their seams with the papers that I accumulated over several years, tears were rolling down my face.

De-Clutter Your Life

Despite the challenge of moving away from my then almost 21-year-old baby girl, I was able to recognize the upside of moving. It is something that I would highly recommend to everyone without moving house.

Relocation gives you a great opportunity to de-clutter your space. Spring is another good time.

No matter how often I have moved, there always seem to be an abundance of junk that I have accumulated – mostly paper and trinkets. I love to collect paper and hate to throw it out. Every meeting, every office, every event that I attend paper goes home with me. If I scribbled on a napkin, I take it home for future reference that rarely happens. I do wish I could be a little more ruthless about some of the paperwork I seem to enjoy holding on to.

Rarely do I go through my files, drawers, old suitcases or storage containers to de-clutter without having to move. I will find a reason to keep every scrap of paper. It takes a monumental reason for me to part with that important phrase that I wrote on a hand-out at a retreat 10 years ago.

Hence that day as I went through the last couple of suitcases the tears were flowing. I was re-reading and having a hard time deciding to throw out journals, letters, and handouts from 2000. They copiously flowed as I looked through my daughter’s exercise books from Grade 2!

Clutter Blocks Your Energy Flow

My emotional response to de-cluttering is real even today. Parting with those pieces of paper, books, etc is letting go of the physical memory that each scrap holds.

Not being able to simply go back when I wanted to, pull out a box and relive times past hurt. It felt like I was saying goodbye to old friends.

However, once my space is cleared of the unnecessary clutter that held memories the pain soon passes. This is precisely what de-cluttering one’s space does. It literally frees up space and more importantly, it also frees up your energy.

Usually, once I get past the clinging and all the ‘stuff’ is gone to the dump, exhilaration overtakes me. Yes, there is some fear of what life in a new place and city will bring. Back then, it was anxiety about the commute to work, for my baby girl and my new job.

clutterMaking Room For The New

With the removal of physical clutter, there is more space in your life. Space for new experiences, new memories and even, new growing pains.

Truth be told you do not have to wait to physically move to experience this openness. A literal and/or mental de-cluttering can and ought to be done once we begin to feel bogged down with ‘stuff’ that threaten to cut natural breathing off.

There is a saying “Nature abhors a vacuum.” What it means is that wherever there is space, the Universe will automatically fill it. What I have found is that it will be filled with your heart’s desires.

Therefore two things you can do at any time of the year are:

  1. Always be making space in your life – literally and metaphorically empty yourself.
  2. Be careful what you wish for as that new space will be filled with your true desires. Not the ones you tell people but the ones you hold in secret.

Do It Today!

Creating space can be hard for some. It takes either a swift kick or that big move for the stubborn ones to let go of the clutter. What I have learned and can advise is that when your kick or time to move appears – do not resist but embrace the pain of saying goodbye to your treasure trove of junk.

The ‘rush’ that you will experience from being opened up, with room for more and seeing how the Universe (or Nature) will fill that space is worth it!

I know this for sure because I have lived it for years now.

Be blessed and be a blessing,

2017

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Anger Management: Why We Feel Rage And How To Control It

Posted on December 13, 2021 by Guest Contribution

“Anger management: why we feel rage and how to control it” by James Kirby, The University of Queensland and Stan Steindl, The University of Queensland

You’re at the park with the kids. Everyone’s having fun, and then a strange dog appears. There’s no owner around. It’s eyeballing the kids. Immediately your threat system becomes activated.

You stand alert, fully focused on the dog; heart racing, fists clenched. The dog bolts in, baring its teeth, and you pounce. You’re in survival mode, full of rage and violence. You yell fiercely, and you kick and hit, or grab the dog by the scruff of the neck, not caring if you snap its jaw.

The dog yelps its surrender and flees, while you stand guard in front of your children.

This type of anger and aggression is the “fight” side of the “fight or flight response”. This physiological response, according to evolutionary psychology, prepares our bodies to fight off a threat or to flee.

It’s such an important part of human survival, and yet it can come at a cost for modern humans. Anger, and aggression, in particular, can have serious consequences when it manifests in violence on the streets, in the home and elsewhere in the community.

We All Get Angry

Anger is one of the seven universal emotions that are common across gender, ages and cultures, according to leading emotion researcher Paul Ekman. Anger, he says, can be the result of something interfering with us achieving a goal we care about, or when we experience or perceive something threatening to us, either physically or psychologically.

angerIt is quick (think of the term “short-tempered”), it focuses all of our attention on the threat, and it manifests in our bodies, usually starting in the pit of our stomach, rising up to our face and causing us to grimace and clench our fists. When it builds, it’s expressed physically with a yell, punch or kick.

In the short term, anger can be powerful and rewarding; the person who is angry typically gets what they want.

But do you like being in the company of an angry person? Most people say no, and that is one of the chief consequences of anger: it is often damaging to relationships and isolating for the angry person.

So in and of itself, it is not the problem, it’s how we manage it and express it.

Anger Disorder

There is no clear diagnosis of an anger disorder, but the psychiatric diagnostic manual does include “intermittent explosive disorder”, which is characterised by recurrent behavioural outbursts representing a failure to control aggressive impulses. This affects 7.3% of the population at some point in their life and 3.9% in the past 12 months.

Anger, however, is a common clinical presentation that features across an array of different mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance use disorders and many more.

If you begin to notice that you are on edge quite a lot, do things that you later regret, are quick to react instead of respond, and that you have people in your life who have told you that you tend to get angry, it might be helpful to do something about it.

You can begin by speaking to your general practitioner and, if needed, ask for a referral to see a psychologist. Or you can go straight to a psychologist if you’re happy to forgo the Medicare rebate.

Anger Management

In therapy for anger, clients are asked:

What would be your greatest fear in giving up or significantly reducing your anger?

Many respond with a fear of being hurt, fear of not being able to stand up for oneself, or fear of unjust or unfair things happening. These are all reasonable responses.

But anger is not aggressiveness. It may lead to aggressiveness, but when we feel angry, we can try to relate to it in a way that invokes feelings of wisdom, strength, courage and assertiveness.

Group and individual anger-management programs, run by psychologists, have good success rates. A meta-analysis examining anger-management programs across 92 studies found that cognitive-behaviour therapy (CBT) strategies helped to significantly reduce anger and aggressiveness, and also to increase positive behaviours.

Some clinicians are also using a newer technique called compassion-focused therapy (CFT).

CFT differs from past therapies, as it focuses on understanding how our brains are “tricky things” that can get us caught up in all sorts of difficult patterns and loops. So, from a CFT perspective, we need to first understand the brain and how it functions so we can better help ourselves when anger shows.

Anger expert Russell Kolts has developed a new CFT-based anger-management program called True Strength, which he is evaluating with prisoners. The aim is to start directing compassion toward ourselves to help us self-soothe, feel more comfortable and work with the distress and negative feelings that fuel our anger.

angerTips To Manage Your Anger

The Australian Psychological Society has some tips to help manage anger for when it shows in everyday life:

Identify the triggers for your anger, such as environments and people.

Notice the bodily warning signs of anger: tightness in shoulders, increased heart rate, hot face.

Draw on a strategy that works for you. This could include slowing down your breathing, imagery, evaluating your thoughts, taking time out and changing your environment, or using relaxation skills.

Rehearse your anger strategies. Imagine being in a situation that makes you angry and draw upon one of your skills.

Remember, anger in itself is not the problem. The problem lies in how we manage and express it. The Dalai Lama may have said it best: “The true hero is one who conquers his own anger.”The Conversation

Credits

James Kirby, Research Fellow in Clinical Psychology, The University of Queensland and Stan Steindl, Adjunct Associate Professor of Psychology, The University of Queensland

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Drama, Your Days Are Numbered! How To Get Off The Stage

Posted on December 8, 2021 by ClaudetteE

“Drama is not safe and it’s not pretty and it’s not kind.” Russell T Davies

Many years ago, actually, a lifetime ago, I had the privilege of working with a very prominent woman in Jamaican society. Very few Jamaican women could come close to her with name recognition both locally and internationally.

It was not my first time working alongside her. My first up-close and personal meeting with her was in my teens. During my twenties, I volunteered and was later hired part-time with an organization where she was extremely close to the top. Our paths crossed many times but it was not until my thirties that my connection became up close and personal.

The timing could not have been better as it was just right after I received my invitation to live my life out loud. As it turned out, she would be one of my early tutors.

dramaDrama, Drama And More Drama

I was at the point in my life where my drama debt was piling up. Bankruptcy was still not imminent but my sanity was severely threatened and my health was deteriorating. She clearly knew something was wrong with me but it was not until one morning when I turned up for work at her home office, distraught bordering on dishevelled looking, that she challenged me.

By then I was a “Truth” student, enrolled in actual classes for enlightenment. My awakening had begun so when what would be considered by some as harsh words came from her mouth, I heard as the voice of Truth.

“Claudette, you have signed up for the role of supporting actress in your mother’s drama. You are at breaking point now. You have and always had choices. Only you know what will work best for you moving forward but obviously, this role is killing you – physically, financially and spiritually. The only fully functioning aspect of you right at this moment is your mental capacity. Let it lead you to the solution. Get off the stage!”

No Stranger

This chaperone was no stranger to acting or drama, having lived a life full of both and since our conversation, has completed and published the book that I was there helping type the first chapters.

I did not immediately cut up my drama card. For almost a decade, I continued using it, making minimum payments here and thereby cutting some things and situations out of my life. The big bill though would take much longer to either pay off or declare bankruptcy.

Eventually, I did. Yes, it was painful. People think I am a very strong woman and I am. However, my strength is in my weakness, my ability to open myself up to vulnerability, laying my soul bare, starving my appetite for company, popularity, luxuries, accolades, recognition and even love.

My resignation from the dramatic life was in itself and in part drama! It was my final act.

Now, I live a simple, stress-free, love-filled life. Certainly, there are days, moments and/or situations when Drama shows up, expecting to be invited in. Being a human becoming, I have opened the door from time to time and said hello.

My hearing, however, has become highly attuned to the Still Small Voice within me. That Voice never fails to softly remind me that drama will oftentimes wear masks. I have therefore become the mistress of mask removal – mine and that of others.

Where is your drama debt?

Leave a comment below or visit our Facebook page or Instagram profile and share your experience.

Blessings,

2017

 

 

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Money, Money and More Money! How Much Do You Need?

Posted on December 7, 2021 by ClaudetteE

Money – tis’ the season to spend it!

As we enter the money madness season, I was reminded of this conversation I had on a podcast some time ago. Thought I would reshare today.

Money Assumptions

Is it not crazy how people make assumptions about you?

Take their assumption about you and money: how much you have or do not have; how you ‘made’ it and your willingness to spend it.

It is like walking into a store, such as the one my daughter and I went into yesterday, and the salesperson seemingly quickly sums you up. The one we had in the mattress store, to his credit, took some time to label us “stupid losers!” I was in the market for a bed and my daughter conned me yesterday about the time for her prenatal yoga class. So instead of killing the hour we had sitting in the car, we went window shopping for a bed.

Note that I said “window shopping.” I had neither the resources to purchase a bed yesterday or even today nor did I have the deposit for one.

moneyMoney In The Mattress

This store, the best mattress outlet in Canada – at least that is what their jingle basically says. I actually, sang it for the salesman.

“Sleep Country Canada, why buy a mattress anywhere else!”

I knew he was a salesman right after I finished singing as he said I sang well! Liar!

We looked around, checked firmness and narrowed down the two options that I liked. So what was the problem, why would I not buy the mattress right there and then? The salesman could not understand. It was a great deal and the clearance sale could end any minute now!

“I don’t have the money right now!”

“But it might not be here when you get back!” He insisted.

“What would you have me do?” I asked him.

His smart Aleck response was that I should deposit ten per cent to hold it.

Pressured Into Spending

That was a reasonable enough suggestion but I:

  1. still wanted to shop around
  2. did not have the ten per cent
  3. do not like being pushed into something that I am not ready to do

Status or how I look to the observer is not my issue. You can draw any conclusion about me – negative or positive – and I might not give two hoots, especially where it concerns money.

Money is not my mojo. It never has been and never will be. Sure, I love nice things, eating well, etc but being able to buy them on a whim is not my idea of “having arrived.”

What Motivates You?

My motivation is having a dream and accomplishing it, then having another dream and reaching that too. In other words, the journey is what thrills me. Arriving at a destination gives momentary pleasure then I am off to the next level of enjoyment.

Want to see me high? Then challenge me to help someone step up their game, using my own God-given talents. What you will witness is Claudette on steroids!

Of course, I purchased the bed but on my schedule. Living up to anyone’s estimation of my financial status actually pisses me off rather than inspire me. It is NOT about the money with me.

Is it with you?

Share your thoughts in the comments below and follow us on Facebook and Instagram to see our #DailyDoseOfInspiration.

Blessings,

2017

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5 Ways To Infuse Your Family With The Spirit Of Generosity This Christmas

Posted on December 6, 2021 by Guest Contribution

“5 ways to infuse your family with the spirit of generosity this Christmas” by Sheri Madigan, University of Calgary

Around this time each year, many children have made a Christmas wish list that includes items like toys, games, crafts and electronics. While children may express gratitude and joy in response to receiving gifts, the concept of the generosity of spirit has certainly changed over the years.

It was St. Nicholas’s legendary status of generosity that gave rise to the modern-day tradition of Santa Claus. As the story goes, as a young boy, St. Nicholas was left with a substantial amount of inheritance when his parents died. He used this to help others, primarily the poor.

St. Nicholas was generous. Generosity is defined as the quality of being kind and giving time, attention or gifts to others without conditions or the expectation of getting something in return. Being generous is seen as a positive virtue in people and has links with other emotions such as empathy and compassion.

Parental Behaviour Matters

The roots of generosity, such as empathy, compassion and prosocial behaviour, begin to develop in the toddler years.

One study of charitable giving by children shows that boys and girls give equally. Research also shows that by the age of nine most children have a good understanding of generosity. As with all aspects of development, as the child ages, greater understanding and mastery of generosity will unfold.

Socializing Children To Be Generous

What role do parents play in socializing children to be more generous? One way is by showing generosity themselves. Research shows that a parent’s level of generosity and charitable behaviour is correlated with their child’s display of the same behaviours.

Modelling generosity makes an impression on children and is thus a great first step to fostering this behaviour. Siblings can also effectively role model empathy and compassion, and by extension, generosity.

Another way is to talk with children about generosity. Studies have shown that having family discussions about generosity had a stronger influence on children’s charitable behaviour than parent role modelling alone.

generosityFive Ways To Help Foster Generosity

  1. Give experiences. Gifts do not always need to come in the form of material possessions. Giving experiences can be of value as well. This can include time with caregivers, such as a set of tickets that children can “turn in” to bake together, do arts and crafts, go skating, swim, hiking or to a movie or the theatre. These experiences are also opportunities to discuss the value of family connection and making memories.
  2. Give to those in need. Discuss the legend of Saint Nicholas (Santa Claus) and his spirit of giving to those who are less fortunate. Encourage children to add a gift to someone in need to their Christmas or birthday wish list, or to give used or unused material possessions (such as toys, books or clothing) to those without.
  3. Give without expecting anything in return. The core concept of generosity is to give without conditions. Show children that being charitable is unconditional. Several reputable local, national and international organizations have charitable gift-giving programs for children in need (for example, providing water purification tablets and school supplies).
  4. Give the gift of time. Together with your children, come up with a list of ways they could give their time to someone else. This could be shovelling someone’s driveway, weeding a neighbour’s garden or cleaning up his or her local park. They could also give their time to an organization in need of volunteers (for example a soup kitchen).
  5. Give year-round. Generosity and kindness shouldn’t just happen over the holidays. Make these concepts part of your everyday family life and try to schedule acts of kindness together. At the dinner table, ask your children: “Can you tell me a time today you showed kindness?” You can also talk about how, as a parent, you showed kindness or generosity to someone in your professional or personal life that day.

Giving Gifts

Giving gifts is certainly part of being generous, but as we all know, the holidays can also be a time of stress and panic about getting the right gift, navigating the shopping mania in stores, and frankly, just paying for everything. All is not lost, however — there are other narratives parents can use around kids when it comes to generosity.
The Conversation

Credits

Sheri Madigan, Assistant Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, University of Calgary

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Why It’s Important To Keep Diagnosing And Treating HIV During The COVID-19 Pandemic

Posted on December 1, 2021 by Guest Contribution

“Why it’s important to keep diagnosing and treating HIV during the COVID-19 pandemic, by Kathryn L Hopkins, University of the Witwatersrand and Glenda Gray, South African Medical Research Council

Since 2013, global efforts have been made to gain control over the AIDS epidemic by 2020 through UNAIDS’ 90-90-90 targets. The focus has been to have 90% of all people living with HIV know their status; and of those, 90% initiated on antiretroviral therapy (ART); and of those, 90% reached viral suppression through ART adherence. Viral suppression means that the virus in their blood is undetectable and they cannot transmit HIV sexually.

Much ground has been made towards achieving these goals. To date, 14 countries have reached the 90-90-90 targets. However, missed targets in other countries have allowed 3.5 million HIV infections and 820,000 AIDS-related deaths to occur since 2015.

HIV: Missing The Mark

One of the countries missing the mark is South Africa, which carries 20% of the global HIV burden. By 2018, encouragingly 90% of all people with HIV in South Africa knew their status. However, only 68% who knew their status were on ART; and of those, 87% were virally suppressed. This equated to 61% of all people with HIV in South Africa initiated on sustained ART and 53% of all people with HIV virally suppressed.

Then, by late 2019, COVID-19 emerged and has now swept the globe. This new pandemic has shifted the projected course of public health resources and existing HIV campaigns. The South African National AIDS Council worries that the progress of multi-year strategic plans has been upended. This is a shared concern for many countries with a high burden of HIV.

COVID-19 has put a strain on the country’s already stretched health system. The measures taken to curb the spread have made it hard for people to access routine healthcare and medication for chronic non-communicable diseases as well as HIV. Strategies are needed to optimise health-related outcomes for all conditions, while still allowing the healthcare system to combat the novel pandemic.

hiv and covidCOVID-19 And Health Systems

Hard national lockdowns around the globe, including South Africa’s, were essential to slow the transmission of COVID-19 and allow healthcare systems to prepare for the impending wave of critically ill patients.

Unfortunately, these unprecedented country-wide shutdowns have had downstream effects on other aspects of the public healthcare systems. They’ve created a serious threat for countries with a high prevalence of HIV. People relying on HIV prevention, care and treatment services have become even more vulnerable.

People with HIV need ART to survive because there’s no cure or vaccine. During the lockdown, patients were afraid to leave their homes to collect medications. The trepidation was brought on by the fear of contracting COVID-19, but also the threat of police brutality or incarceration through reinforcement of quarantine. For patients who did make it to ART dispensaries, many facilities experienced – and are still experiencing – supply-chain management deficiencies causing medication stock-outs. Additionally, due to the influx of COVID-19 patients, other services (such as reproductive health services) may have been unavailable.

HIV Treatment

The World Health Organisation and UNAIDS projected that a complete HIV treatment interruption of six months could lead to an excess of more than 500,000 AIDS-related deaths in sub-Saharan Africa over the next year. This is a major step backwards. In 2018, 470,000 AIDS-related deaths were reported in the region.

South Africa has one of the highest numbers of HIV cases and people on ART. The country would experience the largest changes in both HIV incidence and mortality due to ART interruptions. Treatment interruptions or delays will further compromise the immune systems of people with HIV. This could mean the disease progresses to where the CD4 count is too low to be reconstituted or opportunistic infections become unmanageable.

These projections should scare everyone. As it stands, since April 2020, 36 countries containing 45% of the global ART patient population have reported disruptions in ART provision. Twenty-four countries are combating stock-outs of first-line treatment regimens. Other by-products of a disrupted healthcare system are that 38 countries reported a substantial decrease in uptake of HIV testing.

South Africa is already seeing a nearly 20% decrease in ART collection in key provinces and a 10% decrease in viral load testing of ART patients since the introduction of lockdown in March. Even shorter, sporadic treatment disruptions can yield additional complications. These include an increase in the spread of HIV drug resistance, which carries long-term consequences for future treatment success.

hiv and covidHIV And COVID-19

Globally, scientists have focused mostly on the increased risk of COVID-19-related illness and death associated with noncommunicable diseases such as hypertension and diabetes.

Sadly, the role other infectious diseases play in health-related outcomes is largely forgotten. Hits to established HIV programmes make people with HIV even more vulnerable to adverse health events. It is, therefore, also important to understand that this same population is at increased risk of COVID-19-related morbidity and mortality.

There’s an intersection between non-communicable diseases and infectious diseases, with HIV at the centre. The nature of the virus and the treatment required means that people with HIV are at increased risk of inflammation and metabolic syndrome disease. This puts them at risk of chronic non-communicable diseases – a risk factor for COVID-19. Furthermore, ART has allowed people with HIV to live longer and naturally develop these comorbidities through increased age. People with active tuberculosis (TB) are over 2.5 times more likely to die from COVID-19. In South Africa, the TB/HIV co-infection rate is above 60%.

The first study published on the effect of COVID-19 infection among people with HIV in sub-Saharan Africa was reported from the Western Cape, South Africa. People with HIV have a 2.75 times greater risk of dying from COVID-19 than those without HIV. Viral suppression did not seem to affect health outcomes, with HIV accounting for about 8% of all COVID-related deaths. There is increased cause for concern when considering the high levels of HIV comorbidity with noncommunicable diseases and TB.

Way Forward: HIV And COVID

The projected models must be taken seriously and strategies are required to sustain all vital health services.

There is an urgent need for global and local differentiated service delivery to ensure HIV service continuity – most critically uninterrupted ART supply – during the COVID-19 pandemic. These strategies could include a change in where HIV testing is provided and treatment is dispensed. Patients could be given longer treatment refills or bulk packs of treatment.

Community-based services could serve both pandemics. Such a strategy could relieve pressure on public healthcare facilities while protecting the most vulnerable populations who need to stay at home to minimise their risk of exposure.

With restricted global movement comes restricted imports of HIV tests and treatments. Countries must include locally manufactured medications within their national ART regimens. Governments, suppliers and donors need to avoid excess HIV-related deaths by creating an uninterrupted supply of ART.

If the world is single-minded and focuses purely on combating one pandemic (COVID-19), forgetting others, the effects of other morbidity and mortality on healthcare systems will be seen for a long time to come.
The Conversation

Credits

Kathryn L Hopkins, Perinatal HIV Research Unit, University of the Witwatersrand and Glenda Gray, Research Professor, Perinatal HIV Research Unit and President, South African Medical Research Council

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Time To Choose What You Will Serve: Fear Or Faith?

Posted on November 30, 2021 by ClaudetteE

Time to Choose. As a civilization, as nations, as citizens of this world, it seems we have come to one of those times in history when we have to choose.

Many will testify, every pun intended, that there is only one choice – God. They will try to convince you that these are the “end times!” Funny enough, there might very well be those who are not God-minded, “the liberals,” who have the same opinion. The massive influx of refugees over the past many years. The pandemic. So many events; so many signs. ‘Brexit’ was an even earlier one. Donald Trump’s election to the position of “the most powerful man” in the world was probably the clearest signal to “the liberals.”

As battle lines are drawing, it is time to choose – which god shall you serve?

Time To Choose – Faith Or Fear

When the idea of this post first came to me, it was going in a much different direction. My intention was not to discuss political issues but more those moments of panic in our daily lives. Times such as:

  • Money not flowing as freely as you need them to and the bills are piling up.
  • Your marriage or relationship is on rocky grounds and you are not sure how to salvage what is left or if it is even worth it.
  • You hate your job and that knot in your stomach is getting tighter.

Do we fear that our ‘leaders’ will take us along a path of no return? Or, are you one who has faith that whatever comes, the collective “We” will overcome?

time to chooseGlobal Village And Collective Choice

Being a North American citizen, my point of reference is on that continent. However, unless you were living under a rock, you cannot be unaware that the turbulence is worldwide.

History shows how major political and economic development has affected just about every corner of Earth. While the degree of impact might differ from a continent, country or even community, to use a hackneyed term, “we all are in this together.”

Technological advances have erased much of what divided us in many ways. One small example of that – one that is connected to this conversation – is my ‘attendance’ at a church service many years ago. Lying in my bed in Edmonton, Alberta, I sang and offered my “Amen” as Reverend Michael Beckwith, Minister, Founder of the Agape International Spiritual Center in Culver City, California, preached.

It was during Reverend Beckwith’s sermon that I made my choice.

Spirit of Fear Of Faith

Many times I have made it clear that “Christian” is not the label that I would choose for myself (if forced). However, the teachings of Jesus The Christ form an important core of my spirituality. The Christian Bible is a great resource for me and, on this pivotal issue for all of us now, these passages come to me:

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Psalms 23:4

It is only through ‘faith‘ that “we shall overcome” Whether in your personal affairs be that:

  • money challenges
  • work stress
  • challenges with your children and/or family members
  • relationship issues or in our collective sociopolitical issues

With Knees Shaking – Choose Wisely

Watching the live stream of that sermon, my choice was faith on all fronts.

Watching a movie on Netflix, “The Innocents”, is based on a true event in Poland that happened towards the end of World War II. A French Red Cross medical student came to the assistance of Benedictine Nuns who were raped and some impregnated by Soviet (Russian) soldiers. Taking many risks and herself escaping rape at the hands of some of these soldiers, the heroine of the story made her choice – faith.

Faith is 24-hours of doubt and one minute of hope.” Maria, “The Innocents”

That one minute of hope is all we need each day to choose faith – in humanity, that good sense will prevail, that kindness and kind people are still in our world.

What will you choose – fear or faith?

2017

 

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Harnessing The Power Of Fear

Posted on November 29, 2021 by Guest Contribution

“Harnessing the power of fear” by Gerald Walton, Lakehead University

People love fear. Consider the enduring popularity, for instance, of thriller and horror movies since the invention of the motion picture. Think Nosferatu (1922), Dracula (1931), Frankenstein (1931), M (1931) and Werewolf of London (1935), among scores of others. This year a sequel to the classic slasher-flick Halloween was released 40 years after the original.

Sociologist Isabel Cristina Pinedo refers to our collective appetite for horror films as “recreational terror.” Legions of people are also drawn to other forms of terror for entertainment purposes, most notably carnivals and haunted houses, as described in detail by Margee Kerr in her 2015 book, Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear.

The love of fear also explains the popularity of thrill-seeking amusements such as skydiving, hanging off the edge of the CN Tower, and bungee jumping (right, Will Smith?). In these contexts, fear is temporary and contained by rules and regulations.

Makes Us Targets

Beyond fun and games, fear serves a regulatory purpose and can be used as a tool of political control. It can expose vulnerabilities and make us targets of those who would do us harm or wish to manipulate us for their own ends. Fear is also espoused as something we should hide, as a narrator of a 2018 advertisement for the show, Chopped Canada, forcefully warns: “In the Chopped Canada kitchen, … never let the judges see or smell your fear.”

In gender socialization, fear is widely perceived and identified, especially among men, as a sign of weakness that transgresses the social expectations of boys and men to be tough, fearless, strong. Boys and men are trained to supposedly overcome or conquer fear, a practice of toxic masculinity, lest they are called a roster of misogynistic or homophobic names.

On the other hand, gender theorist Jack Halberstam notes in Female Masculinity that women who appear to be fearless may be perceived as masculine. Fear, then, is deployed in society to enforce gender norms and expectations.

fearFear Is A Political Tool

As a tool wielded by politicians to exploit anxieties that are already in the culture, fear sways public opinion and political allegiance. A pop-culture example mirrors real-life: In a chilling exchange at the end of season 4 of House of Cards, Claire and Frank Underwood (U.S. vice-president nominee and president, respectively) realize the potential to win the election by exploiting fears of the American people:

Frank: Create chaos?

Claire: More than chaos.

Frank [Leans in to listen intently]: War.

Claire: Fear.

Frank: Fear. Brutal. Total.

Claire: I’m done trying to win over people’s hearts.

Frank: Let’s attack their hearts.

Claire: We can work with fear. [Smile of determination.]

Frank: Yes we can. [Leans back.]

Claire and Frank’s target is not made specific. Real political campaigns, however, vilify particular groups to incite hysteria among those who can be convinced that they are under threat from “different” others.

It was once widely taken as fact, for example, that gay men are all paedophiles, out to recruit boys into immoral lifestyles (a sentiment that has not disappeared entirely). Also persistent is the notion that Jewish people conspire to take over the world economy. Another entrenched argument, promulgated by men and women alike, is that feminists aim to emasculate men by tearing down their place in the world and in the family.

The targets of campaigns of fear change according to political contexts and circumstances. Especially since 2001, Muslims and those perceived as being Muslim have become the targets of restrictive national and local policies.

In his 2014 book, Terrified: How Anti-Muslim Fringe Organizations Became Mainstream, Christopher Bail argues that, through narratives of danger and vilification, fear serves a social function by uniting like-minded people and fuelling white nationalism.

changeFear Motivates Change

Fear is a powerful force, but is it limited to the realm of thrills, chills, shame and political strategy? What might it mean to consider fear differently from the usual media-driven narratives of stigma and weakness?

Elite athletes might provide some insight into how they employ fear as motivation to maximize their performance under competition. People who are not elite athletes might find a similar purpose in fear: it can be what guides people to achieve. This is precisely what I explored in interviews with people about how fear motivated them to pursue a goal despite thinking of themselves as incapable.

Singing or speaking in public, nude modelling, public speaking, coming out as queer, diving off a cliff, leaving an abusive relationship, returning to school later in life, becoming a parent for the first time and facing competition in athletic events are just some examples of how fear motivates internal change and achievement.

It Can Be An Opportunity

For some people, fear represents an opportunity. One participant captured the point when she said:

“It’s the fear that makes you want to do it more… [it] means that it’s something that I really want to do.”

In the context of being in the rapids in a kayak, another said:

“Life happens when the water’s moving. Fear is where the fun starts … But you don’t have fun until you’re out there in the water, in the scary part …Life’s really short; it’s so sweet. That’s what fear gives me … fear is what sets your soul free.”

These comments mirror another participant’s perspective that, as a guiding voice, fear signals the need to continually problem-solve. Fear played a supporting but important role in earning her kayak instructor certification.

Such perspectives and experiences contradict those of influential leaders who have spoken about fear. Former U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said in 1933 that, “…the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Buddhist philosopher Thích Nhất Hạnh claimed that “Fearlessness is not only possible, but it is also the ultimate joy. When you touch non-fear, you are free.”

They were both wrong.The Conversation

Credits

Gerald Walton, Professor in Education of Gender, Sexuality and Identity, Lakehead University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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New Year Resolution: Fully Free In 2022, Will You Be?

Posted on November 24, 2021 by ClaudetteE

Fully Free: It is one of the many promises to myself that I have kept: to be fully free. Now 56 years old, my journey has taken me across many of the places that we call countries. This is the best time of my life. The period of full personal freedom. This was a promise made to myself eleven years ago.

At the time, my blog was hosted elsewhere and under a different name. The article that I wrote highlighting this promise is republished today as the conversation on Daughters of Sheba social media is about preparing for the new year.

Read my previously published article below:

Fully Free: A Promise To Myself In 2009

Prior to 2006, I am hard-pressed to recall a New Year’s resolution that I have kept for longer than a day. This pastime that we have of making a list of vices that we resolve not to repeat in the upcoming year is hogwash. Sorry for my directness but having duped me so many times into believing that I could vow not to overeat, lose weight, save money or some other folly of that nature makes me cynical on this score.

New Year’s Eve 2009 now finds me envisioning, not vowing, a better path for myself. 

That decision to spend December 31 into January 1 praying, scanning magazines for images and creating a collage of my New Year started in 2006. It was a decision made in desperation but one of the best I have ever made. Instead of dancing the night away with a bunch of drunks who are looking to get laid (sorry for the frankness but it is the truth) by someone other than their partners, I spent the time in the quiet of my home. Usually alone with my dogs, praying for guidance and making a collage of the best me that I can see.

December 2009

On Sunday, December 27, 2009, my then-husband said he wanted to hear a sermon. This was an unusual request, one that was partially prompted by my eliciting a promise from him to lay off playing Farmville on Facebook for the day. Actually, he wanted me to deliver the sermon as I had not done so in more than a year. He told me that one of his proudest memories of me was sitting in the pews of a church listening to me preach. For some reason, he wanted to be in the space again. He agreed to watch Bishop T.D. Jakes instead.

fully freeThe Sermon

As we prepared breakfast, the worship service got underway at Potter’s House, the name of Bishop Jakes church. However, unlike many other services, this one did not grab my attention. Well not until Bishop Jakes got into the meat and potatoes of his sermon.

“Kill it, destroy it…!” he shouted. “Then give praises!”

“What the heck is he on about?” I thought.

“You cannot go into the New Year with the old year’s baggage!” he was saying or something to that effect. By now he had my full attention.

Hash browns in my mouth watered down by my silent tears, I raised my hand when Bishop Jakes said, “I am preaching to somebody in here today!”

I did not know about any of the well-coiffed, high-brow ladies and deaconess in the Potter’s House but for sure I knew Bishop Jakes was talking out my business! How many years have I:

  • Been walking around with the pain of rejection, loneliness, abandonment, low self-esteem, not feeling good enough, deep unhappiness despite the smile on my face?
  • Fooled me into believing that I had released an issue only to have it resurface across the oceans?
  • Made vows to do right the next year – eat less, exercise more, give unselfishly – and never managed to achieve any of these?

Kill It And Destroy It

I listened keenly to Bishop Jakes teaching all who cared to learn that until you “kill and destroy it” – the ghosts of the past that keeps haunting you now – you will not find real peace and meaning. The truth of his words stirred a memory.

A year prior to that, I attended my first Burning Bowl Service in Kingston, Jamaica. It is a special service hosted by the Universal Centre of Truth for Better Living in January each year. Participants are invited to write out and burn in a collective fire the issues of their hearts. I attended two of these services and burned many pieces of paper in that bowl. I have even had my own private burning sessions, setting alight paper, pictures, cards or anything that would hold me in a past that I so badly needed to be fully free of.

Proverbs is possibly my favourite chapter in the Bible and some of the best advice, at least to me, comes from the fourth chapter. These are some of the verses that I hold dear:

23Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
24Put away from your crooked speech
and put devious talk far from you.
25Let your eyes look directly forwards,
and your gaze be straight before you.
26Keep straight the path of your feet,
and all your ways will be sure.
27Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil.

fully freeNew Year Resolutions

In my opinion, this is what Bishop Jakes was reminding me. Enough of the meaningless New Year’s resolution. Time to kill and destroy the self-talk and thoughts that would take my eyes and feet away from the Journey. It is not enough to “let go.”

To begin to realize a deep-seated freedom in my 45th year, it was time to “kill” the remnants of my bondage.

I know he was speaking the truth because since I have stopped the New Year’s Eve night debauchery and spent the night in quiet reflection creating my vision board, things have been very different in my life. Just about every image that I pasted on my collage has materialized – house, new vehicle, someone who loves me “more than cook food”, marriage, vacation(s), career growth, etc.

Yet, some things are outstanding and cannot be mounted on any board.

There is a Part Two to this story that will be shared in another post.

Until then,

2017

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