Three Steps To Picking A Winning Team For This Game Called Life

Posted on July 26, 2021 by ClaudetteE

Three steps. The all-important three steps to picking a winning team.

People come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime… .”

“Don’t mix seasonal people with lifetime expectations.”

These are a couple of pieces of advice offered to me that helped me with those three steps.

Now I am passing them on to you.

three stepsLife Is A Game And You Are The Captain

First, though, let this serve as a reminder that not everyone batting, catching, or playing mid-field is meant to stay either in that position or on your team forever. As any good and experienced sporting coach will tell you, players get injured, complacent, or simply cannot continue to meet the physical requirements of the game.

Make no mistake, this life that we are all living is a game. It is one in which we are all playing out our dreams, kicking around ideas with the intention of getting the big one, the winning one through the net of success. That net – success – is crafted and stitched from material that we each get to choose.

Crafting Success

For some,  the material will come together. A pile of money, a huge house, cars and “a trailer load’ of girls. For others, it is being able to offer all the basic needs plus some. A reasonable roof over their heads, education and annual vacations. Then there are those for whom success falls somewhere in the middle. Food, a clean bed and a pair of shoes to keep their feet protected.

Whatever your measure of success, you are the head coach, the boss, the CEO – whatever title you prefer – of your life. You decide how the game is played. You select the players to go out on the field with and for you. And here is the cold, hard fact:

Sentiments and sympathy will not “win” you this game.

 

What Is The Game?

Before anyone takes offence to my chosen words, let me define and elaborate on how they are used and understood in this context.

  • Game – daily living
  • Players – friends, family members, the “Influencers” in your life
  • Field – your scope of choices
  • Win – success according to your understanding

Often I have made reference to T.D. Jakes’ sermon about the three types of people in your life. Why? Well, he describes them very eloquently, if you can look beyond the “preacher man” performance.

Check Your Circle

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Every so often, it is important to do an inventory of your circle. It has been said that if you are the smartest in your circle, something has to change. This is a challenging task, one that I have done many times. Once, I found myself as #5 on the smartness ladder. Since doing that, I have stretched, dragged and pulled by myself to learn more about SEO, social media marketing, immigration, writing, management and – the big one – intimate relationships.

Now, I am offering you my combination of these two concepts as you set out to complete a review or performance evaluation, if you like, of your team or your circle.

The most important and fundamental thing to understand is that it all starts with You.

Tag, You’re It

You are the visionary – the dreamer, the leader, the head cook and bottle washer of your life. It starts and ends with You. The “game” is played according to your choices or lack of choices. You select the players based on how you want to play the game. You decide which player remains on your team.

Once the vision is clear, refined and fine-tuned – and you do this every year, every month, every day through your vision boards, journals, meditation/spiritual exercises, etc – write your guidelines. These I prefer to call “Values for Living,” and they are those principles that will not change, they are who you are. Write them down where you can see them every day. I have mine on my phone that is never far from my reach and as an example my Values For Living are: 

  • Love
  • Honesty
  • Trustworthiness
  • Loyalty
  • Faithfulness
  • Kindness

three stepsThe Three Steps: Check Your Players’ AIM

We all have a story for our lives, one that we edit, adapt and expand as we play this game. Knowing your story and ensuring that only you are holding the pen is critical.

It is the daily walking of your vision, it is the game and you get to choose the players, companions and supporting actors. My suggestion is that each of these persons is chosen based on their:

Appreciation and understanding of your story

Interest, ability and willingness to support you moving your story to the next stage

Mission in their own lives

Basically, the A.I.M. of your team members will and ought to decide their season, reason or lifetime membership on your playing field.

The Fine Print

For as long as their appreciation of you and your journey is well expressed and clear, they might remain on the team. This does not mean they are yes people. It simply means they love you enough to tell you the truth as they work side by side with you to correct the course.

If a team member’s interests change or dwindle; should they become unwilling or unable to continue catching your vision for the game, their season is over. No hard feelings are necessary. It is simply time to move on.

Each of us has a mission for our lives and part of that includes being an active player or supporter on another person’s team. We are social beings and our natural instinct is to help another. For as long as that support is mutually beneficial, life-enhancing for both parties – game on! However, missions change, adjustments get made and what was once compatible evolve not necessarily into conflicting goals but are no longer viable. Do not hang on out of habit. Thank and bless the player. Retire their number and give them a golden handshake however that looks in your life. Then start recruiting.

There you have my three-step strategy for playing your game. Evaluate your current team based on their A.I.M. and take your life to the next base.

Be blessed, be well and have a great game day!

2017

 

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Victory: Here’s The Lowdown of When And How You Will Declare Victory?

Posted on July 21, 2021 by Michael H. Ballard

Victory. Such a glorious word.

There comes a time when you have to declare your victory even though you may be losing the fight.”  ~ Richard Paa Kofi Botcheway

That grabbed my attention! I would never have thought of it that way or said it even close to that way. Yet, I thought along the same lines during several “fight for my life” moments. During my three very serious challenges with cancer and a daunting medical complication that cause me to have emergency surgery late one night. 

Victory When Will It Come?

In such times, it is not just about strength. It is about faith.

Faith in self, faith in others and perhaps faith in a higher being or power.

Yes, I pushed and fought while fighting my cancer. However, I never said it so directly. I was going to win my battles with cancer. I had cancer, cancer did NOT have me. First Battle Won!

Then I will win emotionally as I have cancer it does NOT have me. Oh do not get me wrong, I cried big sobbing earth-shattering sobbing tears. I was down on my knees pounding the tiles in the shower room. It was not all about Positive Mental Attitude (PMA).

It was about feeling the pain, acknowledging it, then building a team to help me fight back! In thought word and deed; pray and play. In music and in praise, in family and friendships!

The victory was declared. Yes, I was quite ill. Death walked the hallways and hovered in the doorway. Yet, my lesson had come at an early age. Inner strength with faith and a team that would walk beside you makes for a very powerful combination.

So I declared Victory every morning as I woke up and every evening as I lay my head on the pillow. Yes, I had cancer. Yes, I might die. However, I was winning intellectually, emotionally and spiritually! Amen! Oh and 20+ years later it’s safe to say I won physically.

When will you declare victory? Over what?

So until next time Imagine Yourself with more Resiliency for life!

Michael

Michael’s Social Media includes:
https://soundcloud.com/michael-h-ballard

 

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Estate Planning For Your Digital Assets

Posted on July 20, 2021 by Guest Contribution

Estate planning for your digital assets by  Natalie Banta, Drake University

What will happen to your Facebook account when you die? What about all your photos shared on social media, your texts with loved ones, or documents on cloud storage systems? In just the two-year period from 2012 to 2014, humans produced more data than in all of the human civilization before that – and the pace is only accelerating.

It’s not clear what people’s digital presences will look like in years to come, but it’s sure that an increasing number of people will be creating and accumulating growing reams of data until the day they die. But then what?

The law is very clear about handling paper documents and other physical property when someone dies. But as a law professor at Drake Law School who has been studying property transfers for years, I’ve seen that laws, regulations and court rulings are only recently trying to figure out how to handle the ever-changing realm of digital technology. So far, in most cases, the information is controlled by the companies that store it – regardless of what users want or direct to happen after their death.

estate planningLaw Catching Up With Technology

Many people have had email and other digital accounts for decades, some stretching back to the early pioneers in the 1960s. But large numbers of average people really only began creating significant digital footprints in the early part of the 21st century. Facebook and Gmail began operations in 2004; YouTube started in 2005; Twitter launched in 2006; the iPhone came out in 2007.

Almost a decade later, a group of lawyers from around the country developed a draft uniform law they encouraged all 50 states to adopt, which would allow people to specify in their wills that the executor of their estate can access their email and social media profiles. So far, 39 state legislatures have adopted it and seven more are considering it this year.

The uniform law doesn’t specify – and courts have not yet been asked to rule on – exactly how that access should happen. So for the moment, a dead person’s executor must contact the company behind each digital platform to determine how to get into the person’s accounts.

In states that haven’t passed this law, companies themselves can decide whether to allow loved ones access to a late relative’s digital assets. Yahoo, for example, is notorious for terminating an account upon a user’s death and forbidding access afterward.

The company’s refusal to grant access to surviving family members is being challenged in Massachusetts, a state that has not adopted the uniform digital assets law. In October 2017, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled that an executor could consent to the disclosure of emails on behalf of the dead person whose estate was being managed. The case is back before a lower court to decide on other issues, including whether the estate will be able to access the account despite Yahoo’s terms of service agreement.

Estate Planning: The Role Of Privacy

With so many legal issues yet to be decided, people should be sure they include digital assets in their estate planning and encourage their loved ones to do the same.

Access to the email of a person who has died may be the most important to unlock: Messages and images are likely to be emotionally important. In addition, banking, utilities and other accounts are often linked to an email address; gaining online access to those can help administer a person’s estate.

Of course, it’s important to protect the privacy of a person who has died – despite the general legal assumption that a dead person no longer has privacy that needs protecting. The uniform state law does this by requiring a person to have left specific written permission for an executor to access an email account.

estate planningMaking Plans For Yourself

To prepare yourself for a digital afterlife, the first task is to state, in writing, what you want to happen to your digital assets. Create a list of the accounts in your name, and determine which ones you want your executor to access – and which should be deleted.

Crucially, do not list usernames or passwords in your will, because a person’s will becomes a public document upon their death. Instead, consider recording access information for these accounts in a safe place – like password management software – and leave instructions for your executor to find them.

It’s not yet clear whether credits and purchases with digital media accounts (like the Google Play Store or iTunes) or online reward account points can be transferred when their holder dies. The only solution, for now, maybe to leave your executor with instructions on how to access the value stored in those accounts – and back up the media on external hard drives stored in a safe place.

Finally, check with the companies whose online services you use to see if they provide their own method to transfer assets at death. For example, Google has pioneered a method for its users to indicate what they want to have happened to their account if they don’t access it for several months.

By engaging in some simple estate planning, you can protect your privacy as well as ease the management of your estate after your death. Plan for your digital assets in the same way you would any other valuable tangible or intangible asset. After all, digital assets are today’s shoeboxes of photos, letters and other mementoes. Planning can preserve your legacy in its digital form.The Conversation

Credits

Natalie Banta, Associate Professor of Law, Drake University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Girls, Girls Everywhere! Parents Please Teach Them These Lessons

Posted on July 14, 2021 by Clara Brown

Girls, Girls, Girls – they grow into women and it is our responsibility to make sure they do with the least harm.

“So amazing how this world was made
I consider if GOD is a woman
The gift astounds me till this day
I give it up for THE WOMAN

She’s the constant wind that fill my sail, oh THAT WOMAN
With her smile and her style
She’ll protect like a child …..that’s A WOMAN

She’ll put a smile upon your face
And take you to that higher place
So don’t you under estimate
The strength of A WOMAN.” Shaggy, lyrics from his song ‘Strength of a Woman’

I grew up in a very female-dominated family. There was my mother, who had six children: four girls and two boys.  Aunt No. 1 also had six children: four girls and two boys. Aunt No. 2, had two girls.  Not to be left out, my father sowed other seeds and they produced another six girls.

Writing this piece, I smile at the thought of the infamous song “Girls, Girls Everywhere.” They surrounded me during my secondary education at an all-girls High School.  Later, in University over 70% of my cohorts were girls.

girls“Girls, Girls Everywhere”

For over 25 years, I laboured (pun intended) in the insurance industry and it too is dominated by “Girls.” About 14 years ago, on a trip to Germany, I went into ‘Gender-shock.’

A female colleague and I, accompanied by our Chairman, were taken aback to notice that in the eight meetings with our business partners, we were the only females at the table. At first, we felt the pangs of intimidation being in this male-dominated scene but that apprehension lasted for a nano-second.

We claimed our seat at the table! To this day, some of the most influential industry leaders remember our presence and impact and we continuously receive greetings from afar.

However, not every man is at ease with our dominant presence within the industry. There is discomfort among some of my male counterparts, who find it difficult to accept that a woman plays such a major role in a man’s existence.

Us Girls Were Socialized To Believe Anything Is Possible

Growing up in a female-dominated environment, I could not escape the fact that a woman’s capability is limitless.  We were not socialized to believe that any of us, boy or girl, could not do anything we had our hearts set out on.

Take my Aunt (#1) Pulachie, who ran her household like a Fort Knox general.  She could account for every dollar that she made from or spent on her farming or tailoring business.  Extending to the church fund, my mother’s management skills were top-notch. She could give account for every cent collected and spent, even though it was her husband who was the Treasurer!

Aunt Pulachi made decisions when the house was to be renovated. She determined which contractor would carry out the construction. If her nominee was not available, the work would wait until he was.  The funny part is, Mr Mumby (the contractor) was not the best but he was the person Auntie Pulachie wanted and no one would rule against her.  Although I was concerned about the ‘wearing of the pants’ in Pulachie’s household, my respect for her was enormous. My regard for my Uncle was in question as he was perceived as not having ‘guts’. Auntie Pulachie was a CONTROLLER and as a young girl, I could not help but admire how ordered her steps were and how seriously she took on her respective roles and responsibilities. Today, all her children call her ‘Blessed’.

girlsMy Mother – The Original Iron Lady

My own mother, who would today be classified as a ‘single parent’, raised all of us with an iron fist.  The late Margaret Thatcher aka the “Iron Lady,” must have taken lessons from her.

She would not by any means fit into our current stereotypical understanding of a single mother. In our case, she was the only parent in our household but there was no ‘singleness’ about my upbringing.

They Taught Us Many Lessons

The many lessons taught in a female-dominated household and family are numerous. Other lessons were directly dictated and some we learned by observation.  To this day, I frequently put these skills into practice, in my personal/home life and in my professional experience.

The three that stands out are:

How to Handle Money

Children watch how their mothers handle money.  In our home, money was in scarce supply.  Although we had enough to do the important things, nevertheless, financial planning was key.

A particular sum had to be “set aside,” for example, as ‘doctor money’. This money would be carefully wrapped and placed in the ‘bottom drawer’. Those who grew up in the rural areas might be familiar with the bottom drawer – it was the most important space in the house.  All our new sleepwear, underwear (emergency clothing) and new socks for upcoming Sunday Best outfits were stored there.

Our primary lesson in financial planning was that paying the bills comes first and that instant gratification is less important than having what we needed

How to Handle Stress and Anger

Growing up, it was the women who exhibited healthy reactions to stressful situations and we were taught to do the same. This is a lesson that has proven invaluable to all of us, me in particular, one that has helped in our private or public lives.

How to Solve Problems 

I find it appalling how ‘parochial’ people can be in their thinking today. The problem-solvers in my childhood were the wives of the double-parent households and, in my own single-parent household, my mother.  Although my father was active in our lives, nevertheless we never went to him to resolve a problem. It was NOT done!

From this conditioning, it is now second nature for me, in my private and professional lives, to automatically engage my mind towards solving problems as they arise. Such is the power of positive examples.  Living among my women whether at home or in our community, submerged us into a depth of human capability and insight that has greatly served me and I give thanks for the exposure.

strength of a womanThe Strength Of A Woman

The strength of women has been grossly understated for decades. In recent years, including the Jamaican political context, there has been much talk about balancing the gender scale.

These discussions have been going on since the rock of ages was a pebble! The statistics that indicate that entities headed by women tend to achieve better financial performance are not highlights of the economic history books. The exemplary leadership of women accounts for these successes.

It is time to change that. Let us salute our women who labour in the workforce, side by side with men. Let us start intentionally teaching our girls these real lessons of empowerment!

There is a secret in our culture, And it’s not that childbirth is painful, It’s that women are strong.” Laurie Stavoe Harm

 

Have a great day,

Clara

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People With Disabilities At Risk Of Being Wrongly Deemed ‘Incompetent’ By Health System

Posted on July 13, 2021 by Guest Contribution

People with disabilities at risk of being wrongly deemed ‘incompetent’ by the health system, by Elizabeth Mohler, Western University

As an individual with a disability, I live in fear that if admitted to the hospital, a healthcare provider may deem me incompetent based on my disability. This may seem unlikely, but I lived, academic and professional experiences have shown me that assumptions regarding the capabilities of persons with disabilities are often inaccurate and misguided.

Further, many of the assessments used to assess capacity do not account for specific types of disabilities. For example, the Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA), in which the subject is asked to draw a clock face, could present difficulties for someone with a visual disability, even if that visual disability doesn’t impact the person’s cognition.

Another example is the Mini-Mental State Examination (MMSE), which asks seniors the month and the season. They are asked to spell “world” backwards and forward. If one were dyslexic, spelling “world” forward could present a challenge, and spelling it backwards would be even harder.

While the MoCA and MMSE are tools designed to assess cognition and not necessarily capacity, test results indicating “compromised cognition” tell an incomplete story about people on paper that could jeopardize their right to have agency in real life.

Capacity – People With Disabilities

Capacity raises a lot of important questions about consent, autonomy, agency and who determines capacity.

Such capacity assessments are formal assessments of a person’s mental capacity to make decisions about property and personal care. Under the Substitute Decisions Act in Ontario, many situations require capacity assessments to be conducted by specially qualified assessors who must follow specific guidelines.

Capacity is typically described as a person’s capability to understand the information relevant to making a certain decision and appreciate that their decisions or indecision may impact themselves or others. Capacity assessments may be conducted for a range of reasons, including cognitive decline after experiencing illness, or disability during an episode in hospital.

A young woman with Down syndrome at yoga class.
Some parents of young adults with capacity limitations due to developmental disabilities may incorrectly believe that guardianship is necessary and inevitable.
(Pexels/Cliff Booth) 

Families may unrealistically hope that a capacity assessment will somehow solve difficult practical or ethical issues. Some parents of young adults with capacity limitations due to developmental disabilities may incorrectly believe that guardianship is a necessary and inevitable next step as their child nears adulthood. Professionals may also misunderstand what can be achieved through the capacity assessment process and may conflate disability with lack of capacity.

Systemic Ableism

Our healthcare system is fraught with paternalistic attitudes surrounding the capabilities of people with disabilities. The systemic ableism that exists in health care can, in part, result in people being prematurely placed in long-term care homes — particularly people who have disabilities. Health-care providers may not be aware of alternatives to long-term care such as micro-boards, direct-funded attendant services, supportive housing and co-housing.

Co-housing is a type of collaborative housing in which residents actively participate in the design and operations of their own community. This community may exist within a single home, on a shared piece of land, in an urban neighbourhood or in a cluster of houses.

Microboards are a type of self-directed support organization that helps individuals pursue their hopes and dreams and work with others to design individualized and customized supports aligned with their personal vision of the future.

Direct-funded attendant services refer to funding that is paid directly to the consumer to recruit, hire and train their own personal support attendants.

people with disabilities

Dignity of Risk

The dignity of risk is also associated with capacity. It refers to the concept of affording a person the right (or dignity) to take reasonable risks and indicates that the impeding of this right can suffocate an individual’s personal growth, self-esteem and overall quality of life. In health-care and social services settings, the emphasis is all too often on a custodial approach to “do what is best” for an individual, and little consideration is given to the dignity of risk, nor the right each of us has to take risks.

The term “dignity of risk” was first coined in 1972 by disability advocate Robert Perske. It referred to the overprotective safeguards provided to people living with disabilities in care settings and the paternalistic nature of those settings. Perske asserted that this was patronizing and diminished a person’s freedoms and self-esteem.

Care-centre professionals should not focus on avoidance of all risks, but should instead focus on how to support individuals to safely do what they want. Canadian, British and Australian mental capacity acts and laws share three common principles that demonstrate this understanding of decision-making and capture the concept of dignity of risk:

Individual’s Autonomy

Even if an individual has been deemed incapable of performing certain tasks, they should be supported, as much as possible, to preserve this dignity of risk. A healthcare provider’s role could include ensuring that clients make informed decisions by offering them all relevant information and maintaining support when clients execute the decision, whatever the outcome.

As an alternative to completely removing an individual’s autonomy when she or he is deemed incapable, a supported approach to decision-making can allow individuals to make decisions along with their advocates and support persons. This approach not only enables individuals to feel more in control of their own lives but also affords them opportunities to safely explore the risks and benefits associated with their decisions.

There seems to be very little interplay between health care and social services regarding capacity assessments, with the former lagging in the adoption of personalized individualized approaches. One such approach that’s been proposed is the concept of a micro-board. However, there are more than 1,200 micro-boards in Canada, and I know of none that provide personalized funding to support seniors living with a disability.

people with disabilitiesPeople With Disabilities Need To Be Encouraged

In order to achieve a shift towards shared decision-making between older adults and others with disabilities, these individuals need to be encouraged and supported to take the lead in creating and managing structures that support them on their own terms. This should be done with the co-operation of offspring or trusted people who serve as the directors of a trust or micro-board.

Significant benefits can be gained from improving understandings of capacity that involve individuals in shared decision-making. Benefits can also be gained from teaching medical and allied healthcare providers that a shift away from the clinical approach to capacity — limiting people’s choices — and a focus on exploring options for allowing safe risk-taking or implementing workplace/institutional policies that foster and support positive risk-taking would be a step in the right direction.The Conversation

Credits

Elizabeth Mohler, PhD Student, Health and Rehabilitation Sciences, Western University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Leaving The Children Behind! A Mother’s Painful Lesson In Letting Go

Posted on July 12, 2021 by Janice Chang

Leaving the children behind. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life, to date, was to leave my children in the care of their father when we separated.

I needed to re-form my life.

Over the 16 years of my first marriage, I had let go of my dreams. I had arrived at the cranny of the corner into which I had painted myself. It was time to jump or asphyxiated.

leavingLetting God Or Leaving It To Chance?

It all started with deep-seated unhappiness with my life. I had a great career in medicine, two healthy and happy children and a burgeoning spirituality. Ironically, it was that my spirituality that exposed a deep “soul-poverty” that could not be denied.

Like so many women, I had “settled” and the yearning in my spirit was becoming difficult to ignore.  Despite my white-picket-fence life, daily the gnawing feeling intensified. It was suggesting that I was doing nothing of value and that my life was increasingly aimless.  Ostensibly, I was “letting God lead.” That was my misguided impression that I was doing nothing but following God’s command.

Discipleship, as I was beginning to understand it, means “if anyone would follow me [God/Christ/Spirit/Source], let them leave their spouse, their children, their lives… .”

Did I need to love the will of God more than my family but could I?  
The plug was being pulled in the calm peaceful soaking tub of my life and the warm water (and I) were swirling downward in a powerful vortex – down, down…

leaving Give Up “Precious Things”

So like Abraham in the Bible, I was being asked to give up that “precious thing.” The things that occupied my all, the greatest love of my life, my all-consuming passion – my children Jer and Nads.  If I wanted to fully know God, I had now been brought to that point where I had to relinquish them.

It is my belief, that God/Christ/Spirit/Source will allow nothing – NOTHING – to come between me and Him.  My whole future rested on the decision I would make.

So I left them in the care of their father.

With no clue as to where I was going, when or how, it was irrational to think I could take them on this journey.  It was not a gracious relinquishment.  It was most definitely not a sweet and holy “Oh Lord, I hand them over to you!”

The Children Were Depressed And Resented Me

My son was depressed and many times he brought me to tears as we tried to resolve his issues with the new situation.  My daughter harboured harsh feelings towards me, believing I had abandoned her.  It was hard!

I cried every day.  Valiantly, I tried to remain relevant in their lives but was dying inside! As the pain mounted and built to a crescendo, I relinquished them but it was not pleasant or elegant. Instead, I shoved them into God’s hands and care with a “Heh! See dem yah! Mi cyan dweet nuh more.” [TRANSLATION: Here! See them here! I cannot do this anymore].

So began the re-formation of my relationship with my children. I got them back, my “precious thing”, my children but my relationship with them was forever changed.  Leaving them did that. I love them with all my heart but that love has changed as well. I do not feel that I “own” them or that ensuring their happiness is my function in life.

Relinquish To Gain The Greater

They are now happy, well-adjusted adults with relationships, careers and children of their own.  They call me every day, not at my urging but because they want to.  In letting them go, I allowed God to work in and through all our lives (without me trying to play the intervening midwife). Now, I have restored to me “the years that the locusts had eaten.”

The moral of my story, if there is one: If you love someone, you have to let them go.  If they are meant to be yours, they will come back!

Have you ever had to choose between finding yourself and releasing a family member, relationship, children or even a prized job? Share your story of relinquishment with us by posting a comment here. You can also post on our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter and Instagram.

Continue to have a sacred journey as you embrace your experiences of letting go.

Dr Janice ChangDr Janice Chang

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Dignity: How To Define Dignity And Its Place In Human Rights

Posted on July 7, 2021 by Guest Contribution

“How to define dignity and its place in human rights – a philosopher’s view” by Doris Schroeder, University of Central Lancashire

To most people, the concept of dignity may not seem such a controversial subject. And yet it has been defined in different ways by different cultures and different philosophers. For some, it is the crowning value of human rights across the world. For others, it is a vague, arbitrary, and useless concept exploited as a slogan when proper arguments fail. During the course of my research – which I undertook with the former President of Iran, Abol‐Hassan Bani-Sadr – I discovered how it is one of the most controversial concepts of the 20th and 21st centuries and how a unified definition might help build bridges between Islamic and Western cultures.

Dignity Revolutions

Some political analysts have called the 21st-century unrest in the Middle East the “dignity revolutions”. While rising food prices, poverty, unemployment, and corruption have contributed to these uprisings, commentators in the region have noted that people on the streets spoke of anger, pride, humiliation, and dignity. Or as Francis Fukuyama put it:

The basic issue was one of dignity, or the lack thereof, the feeling of worth or self-esteem that all of us seek. But dignity is not felt unless it is recognised by other people. It is an inherently social and, indeed, political phenomenon.

Western scholars often distinguish aspirational from intrinsic dignity. For instance, philosophers who believe that virtues define moral conduct (as opposed to duty, say) would argue that virtues are cultivated, dependable character traits, which human beings need in order to flourish. The virtue of it would then be the ability to bear the difficulties of life with poise. Nelson Mandela is often used as an example due to the strength he displayed in adversity.

dignity

Statue of Nelson Mandela inside United Nations Headquarters in New York City, 11 July 2019

Calm soul

But one could also maintain that it is not so much about character and virtues, as of rank. The Pope or the President of the United States would then be “dignity carriers” due to their rank. But this interpretation of it was challenged as early as Roman times by Cicero, who wanted to move the concept away from positions of high rank and hierarchies. In De Officiis, Cicero makes an eloquent plea for the dignity of character – a character free from envy, desire, fear and anger. For him, it was not about rank, but about a calm soul and controlling one’s emotions.

Sometimes, the word is simply used for everyday conduct and good manners, such as not snoring on trains or not kissing in church. Virtue, rank, and etiquette interpretations of dignity all fall under aspirational dignity. One needs to make an effort to attain them. Germany’s most famous poet, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, wrote a beautiful statement, saying “A laurel is much easier bound than a dignified head for it found.”

Dignity and human rights

Intrinsic dignity, on the other hand, requires no effort on the part of the bearer and it cannot be lost. The earliest and most famous Western philosopher who argued that it is intrinsic to human beings is Immanuel Kant. He argued that dignity is inviolable and cannot be denied even a vicious man.

We are all born with dignity and we all die with it if one believes in the Kantian interpretation. Nobody can take it away from us. It is this sense of it that is regarded as the foundation stone of human rights. One can already see where disagreements can come in. Nobody loses their dignity, ever? No, not according to Kant. A close relative to Kantian dignity is dignity as promoted by the Catholic church, arguing that God invested all human beings with it.

How does this compare with dignity as understood by Islamic scholars? According to the Koran, everything created is “noble and dignified”. The Koran states that the dignity of each and every living phenomenon emanates from and is connected to intelligent life itself. This pronouncement from the Koran is reminiscent of both the Catholic belief that it is God-given and the Kantian belief that dignity is inviolable. Because of their dignity, all persons are free and, as long as they are not neglectful of God, they are also noble.

As a Western philosopher and a political analyst who have worked together for many years, Bani-Sadr and I believe that there is an essence – a common spirit – in the most important interpretations. Building on virtue ethics, Kantian ethics, and Islam, it can be defined as: “A sense of self-worth, which we have a duty to develop and respect in ourselves and a duty to protect in others.”

This interpretation can explain what those people on the streets were talking about during the “dignity revolutions” and perhaps even build bridges between Islamic and Western thought, as it shows that we are not so different when it comes to the big philosophical questions.The Conversation

Credits

Doris Schroeder, Director of Centre for Professional Ethics, University of Central Lancashire

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Impact Of Child Mental Health Problems Is Worse Than 40 years Ago

Posted on July 6, 2021 by Guest Contribution

Child Mental Health.

Impact of child mental health problems is worse than 40 years ago – our new study suggests by Naomi Warne, Cardiff University and Ruth Sellers, University of Sussex

In England, rates of childhood mental health disorders have increased in the past 20 years. The proportion of five to 15-year-olds with a mental health disorder rose from 9.7% in 1999 to 11.2% in 2017, with emotional disorders (such as depression and anxiety) becoming more common in particular. Now, on average, three children in a class of 30 will have a mental health disorder.

Awareness of mental health problems has increased too, and a number of policy changes and novel treatments have been introduced to specifically target children’s mental health. But our research suggests that children with mental health problems have worse relationships with their peers, worse grades at school and worse mental health in adolescence compared to children who had mental health problems 40 years ago.

child mental healthChild Mental Health Problems

Our study takes a novel approach, by looking at changes in the impact of child mental health problems over time. We followed the lives of three cohorts of UK children born in 1958 (14,544 children), 1991-1992 (8,188 children) and 2000-2001 (13,912 children) from birth to adolescence. And compared those with childhood mental health problems (at age seven) who were born in 1958 (9.6% of boys, 8.4% of girls), 1991-1992 (7.0% of boys, 5.4% of girls) and 2000-2001 (9.7% of boys, 5.5% of girls) to see how their lives had been affected by their issues.

We were interested in how mental health problems affected several different areas of these children’s lives. These included social problems (social isolation and being bullied) at age 11, academic achievement (achieving five or more exam passes) at age 16, and mental health (problems with emotions, conduct, hyperactivity and with peers) at age 16.

We found that, regardless of what generation children were born in, those with mental health problems at age seven were more likely to have social problems at age 11. They were also less likely to achieve five exam passes and more likely to have mental health problems at age 16.

Interestingly, the association between childhood mental health problems and these negative outcomes became stronger in the more recent generations. In other words, mental health problems had a greater impact on later social problems, exam marks and mental health for children born in 1991-1992 and 2001-2002 than children born in 1958. This suggests that outcomes for children with mental health problems may have become worse in more recent generations.

What Is Behind These Changes?

We could not directly test why mental health problems are more strongly associated with negative outcomes in more recent generations, but we were able to rule out some things that could have affected our results. Our additional analyses found that these changes were unlikely to be due to recent generations having more symptoms of poor mental health, or being more socially disadvantaged than the earliest generation.

While we don’t know why these changes have occurred, society today is very different compared to 40 years ago. Young people today are achieving more exam passes that will grant them university entry than in previous generations. According to our findings, those with mental health problems are disproportionately more likely to have poorer grades. We also know that society’s increased emphasis on academic success may come at a cost to young people’s mental health. So children from more recent generations with mental health problems may be more likely to be left behind academically.

New technology may have also contributed to the worsening of outcomes in more recent years. Research has yet to unpick whether social media causes mental health issues and associated outcomes, but high levels of social media use are associated with poor mental well-being, particularly in young girls.

child mental healthSocial Inequality And Child Mental Health

Social inequality in children’s physical health and mental health is widening too. So it could also be that changes in mental health outcomes are due to the most disadvantaged children in society being disproportionately affected by changes in public spending.

Other recent societal changes, such as increases in sedentary behaviour and obesity, changes in drug and alcohol use, and children entering puberty earlier, may also play a role. However, with no direct links proven between any of these factors and mental health outcomes in young people, more research is needed before we can say for certain what has caused the impact of mental health problems to get worse over time.

Whatever the cause, our findings show that more needs to be done to improve the lives of children with mental health problems. As many children with mental health problems do not access help, better early screening is vital to get them the help they need. Our research also showed that short-term follow up of children with mental health problems may not be enough. Instead, continued monitoring and access to relevant services is needed throughout adolescence, and perhaps into adulthood.

In addition, medical professionals and policymakers must consider why society today may be more challenging for children with mental health problems, and what can be done to reverse these trends.The Conversation

Credits

Naomi Warne, Postdoctoral Research Assistant, Cardiff University and Ruth Sellers, Senior Lecturer in Child Development and Community Health (Primary Care & Public Health), University of Sussex

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Divine Guidance And Not What People Think Of You Is Your Compass

Posted on July 5, 2021 by ClaudetteE

“Divine Guidance never fails to come. As I listen, the Voice within me becomes my unerring Guide. No matter how confused I have let my life become, there is a perfect solution…paths of peace and right action are revealed to me.” ~ Adapted prayer from “Your Needs Met”

Up until her 17th birthday, my daughter always told us that she wanted to study Anthropology. She was most taken with Egyptology. A few weeks before migrating to Canada, we took a day trip to Ocho Rios, in the parish of St. Ann, Jamaica. At Margaritaville, we met a “reader” on the beach and he told us both to wear Ankhs. That for my daughter was a confirmation of her path. It was divine guidance.

divine guidanceYou Cannot Visualize Someone Else’s Life

In my mind’s eye, I attended her graduation, not from a bachelor’s programme but some fancy “do” celebrating her doctorate in the field. Kept picturing travels to see her on various “digs” all over the world. We even celebrated her latest book and drank champagne at her wedding to an equally qualified PhD holder.

Then she dropped out of university.

As if that was not enough, she moved out to live with a “boy,” who I knew without a doubt was totally, completely and utterly wrong for her!

Divine Guidance – Mine Or Her’s

My daughter is a soft-spoken, calm and quiet woman. Until recently, she never used a swear word. That changed, however, when the mother’s protective instinct kicked in after having her first child. Her lioness came with the birth of her first cub.

Two of the most unhappy days for me, when my own lioness roared, were the days that I learned of her dropping out of university and when she moved out. I cried, bawled and hollered, begging her to rethink her decisions. She did no such thing.

Abigail did not care what my predictions were for her relationship or her future. She did what she had and wanted to do.

Back then, she was following her compass, her Divine Guidance, no matter what I thought.

My daughter

My daughter – Abigail

She Stopped Caring What Others Thought

Nine years later, I could not applaud her any louder for stop caring.

If you thought that today’s post was a suggestion to be selfish and not give two hoots about anyone else, you would be half wrong. The idea here is that in order to live your life as you see, feel, taste and dream it, then you will of necessity need to stop caring what other people think of you, your goals, your idea of Self and your path.

What they think is their stuff, not yours.

There is no doubt that my daughter loves me. Over the years, I have come to understand that her way of expressing is her way. She learned well from me and my mistakes. She is living life on her terms.

Has she made make some mistakes along the way so far? Of course, she did but she learned valuable lessons from them.

Well-meaning people will offer you suggestions, as I am writing this. However, we must be clear that that advice and nuggets are based on their own experiences.

divine guidanceFollow Your Divine Guidance

Go make your own and new mistakes!

Failure is nothing to be ashamed about. Not trying, not living fully, spending your life in fear particularly those imposed by others are more reasons for “shame.”  Quite frankly, let there be no shame in you no matter the road you have travelled.

I remember a woman who had a profound impact on my path telling her story of trying to open a bank account after being released from prison where she spent 8 years. She described how ashamed she felt as the customer service representative questioned her regarding her whereabouts, employment, etc over the period. At that moment my friend, as she became one, said she decided to never allow what anyone thinks of her to determine how she felt about her journey and herself. She went on to do great work in the inner city communities of Edmonton, Alberta, graduated from university with a degree in psychology and created a white picket fence life.

She stopped caring.

Let Them Judge – It’s None Of Your Business

People will judge you no matter what. If you are low on funds, they deem you broke and useless. Have some cash and you become someone to either ride with or envy. Should depression visit you, they call you psycho and shun you, while others may pity you. Be on top of your world and for sure there will be some who think you are full of it.

Misery loves company. Unhappy people do not like to be around those who are not. Well, it is not your job or mine to “fix” anyone. Be empathetic but not sympathetic.

The difference between these two was taught to me by my pastoral education supervisor. Sympathy means I am going to jump in and drown with you because I too cannot swim. Empathy means I will recognize your situation, see that you need support and go get help, throw you a line or do what I can without killing us both in the process.

Mind your own business and give others the respect to do the same. Do not judge lest you be judged. Stop caring what others think of you and do you!

granddaughtergranddaughterFast Forward 16 Years

Now a medical professional with Alberta Health Services, a stylist and salon owner, mother of two girls aged 7-years-old and 2-years-old and wife of a man that she is happy with, my daughter is still learning every day to not care what others think about her.

As for me, I do not give two hoots who think I am broke, have two shillings, cocky, talkative, on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter too much. Whether they think I am an independent woman or that I should remarry now that I am widowed – does not matter to me.

What they think about me really is none of my business!

Be blessed and be a blessing,

2017

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Fear: Forget It! Trust The Process Child And Just Do Your Life!

Posted on June 30, 2021 by ClaudetteE

Fear: “an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.” 

Six months after turning 18 years old I was boarding an aeroplane for the first time in my life.

Terror or at least fear should have been coursing through my body. Looking around at the others, their fear was palpable. They were older than me, some by a few years and at least one who was a decade my senior.

We were boarding an afternoon flight from Kingston, Jamaica that 22 hours later would touch down in Moscow, the then capital of the former Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (U.S.S.R).

That was how the next seven years of my life would be spent – fearlessly.

fearFear Would Either Sink Or Propel Me

I had no choice. I would either sink or swim.

Claudette had been doing dry-land breast and backstrokes for a very long time. This was an opportunity of a lifetime, getting a scholarship for higher education and one that I was not going to punk out on.

Tears would flow copiously as my Jamaican behind froze in subzero temperatures in Kyiv. This was my destination. The capital of the Ukraine where I was assigned to pursue my first Master’s degree. The floodgates of fear would later open when an African boyfriend smack me around because I ended our relationship. Later, I thought I would die when the Jamaican father of my child beat me to a pulp in my sixth year of studies.

Only once I thought to throw in the towel.

 

That Disaster Of Chernobyl

Fear almost got me after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. I had lost my first child, a son, and was pregnant again. The painful memory of seeing only the back of my stillborn son’s head was almost enough to make me want to run away to protect my new unborn child. Her father had a different idea about the pregnancy and it coming to fruition.

I pursued neither option and today she is the mother of two beautiful girls.

Fear Can Close You Off

Fear has a way of closing us off to many experiences that, while at the moment might seem terrifying, hold the gem of the most valuable gifts. In my own journey, fear has raised its head over and over again. Fear of poverty, losing the best relationship, a dream job or fear of being alone are some that I have faced off.

Through the ‘bucking’ of my fears, I have had a very interesting, exhilarating sometimes and exciting life so far. Have there been moments of despair, depression and desperation? Of course!

My greatest times of devastation were usually related to relationships with others. Whether it was my abusive mother, my father and his family who abandoned me or lovers who said it was forever but left – I have been brought to my knees, no rather crawling like an injured lizard.

Thoughts of giving up and attempts to so do were engaged and employed. Thankfully, Life was not done with me being here on Earth. My purpose has not yet been fulfilled.

My heart has been broken so many times, reduced to a chunk, yet it still pulsates with red hot love. 

Very little phases me – then and now. The dishonesty and betrayal by others still surprise me and yes, I am hesitant about giving my (intimate) love to anyone. But, there is a bonus.  The experiences of heartbreak have taught me to love more generously, without conditions and wastefully.

What about you? Are you too scared to be all of you? Share your story with us here or on our Facebook page, on Instagram. Follow and Tweet at us.

Continue to have a fear-free day as possible!

2017

 

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