Grey Hair: Fine For George Clooney But Not Lisa LaFlamme?

“Grey hair: Fine for George Clooney but not Lisa LaFlamme?” by Victoria Atabakhsh, University of Waterloo and Joe Todd, University of Waterloo

Hillary Clinton once said: “Pay attention to your hair, because everyone else will.”

It’s been two weeks since the shocking news that longtime CTV News anchor Lisa LaFlamme was dismissed after 35 years with the network. It’s still not clear why she was let go.

But in the aftermath of LaFlamme’s departure, there were allegations LaFlamme’s decision to allow her hair to go grey was questioned by executives.

LaFlamme’s termination, and the allegations that newsroom executives made comments about her hair, have angered many. More than 70 prominent Canadian journalists, activists, politicians and artists have signed an open letter condemning LaFlamme’s dismissal.

Bell Media, which owns CTV, has denied that LaFlamme’s removal had anything to do with her age or going grey. The company says that terminating LaFlamme’s contract was a “business decision”.

In a post on LinkedIn, Bell CEO Mirko Bibic said: “The narrative has been that Lisa’s age, gender or grey hair played into the decision. I am satisfied that this is not the case.”

Amid backlash over LaFlamme’s dismissal, Michael Melling, vice president of news at Bell Media, is on a leave of absence pending the outcome of a workplace review.

Whatever the cause of LaFlamme’s dismissal, the episode has once again highlighted the gendered ageism many women continue to face.

greyAgeing and Gender

Unfortunately, this story is nothing new in the world of ageism. Ageism is negative stereotypes, prejudice or discrimination directed toward ageing people. Issues surrounding ageism continue to be widespread in our society and mainstream media.

Though ageism affects all older adults, women are subject to the greatest discrimination. The standards for attractiveness in our consumerist culture are defined by youthful characteristics and are constantly portrayed through the media.

How women are judged compared to men in terms of physical appearance varies immensely.

Take the famous (and relatively new) term dad bod. A “dad bod” is a male body type that is described as “softly round.” It suggests that, because a man has found a partner and fathered children, he doesn’t need to worry about maintaining a sculpted physique. Dad bods have been celebrated because men like Leonardo DiCaprio have made them popular.

Where is the equivalent for women? Is there a mom bod? Of course, there is, but a mom bod is usually a woman who has “let herself go” as she’s aged and is no longer desirable.

This gendered ageism is particularly apparent when it comes to physical appearance. The unrealistic pressure and expectations put on women in terms of beauty and youthfulness are part of the rise in the importance of aesthetic values in society.

These values influence the notion that grey hair on a woman produces one of the least desirable personas in Western society – an old woman.

Forever Young

“Ideal” images and media representations of women exaggerate our expectations of female physical attractiveness: forever youthful, thin, light-skinned and toned. This is a physical appearance that is not representative of the majority of women, especially not older women.

The double standard when it comes to ageing speaks to the reality that ageing women are judged the harshest in society. The loss of youthfulness (which is associated with attractiveness) makes women less desirable.

These harmful standards of beauty and ageing have ignited calls for an intersectional approach to address the cultural expectations of ageism and physical appearances. Leading feminist scholars like Susan Bordo have stated that as women are socialized to be more worried about their physical appearances and ageing, the more damaged their self-images and confidence will be.

greyGrey is For Men but Not Women

LaFlamme and her alleged experience of gendered ageism make for some interesting comparisons. There are entire articles, forums, hashtags and social media sites that celebrate “silver foxes” (older men with grey or white hair). What is the equivalent of a silver fox for women? There isn’t.

Anderson Cooper continues hosting his show on CNN with grey hair. George Clooney and Steve Carell are praised and labelled as attractive for their grey hair. Most notably, LaFlamme’s predecessor, Lloyd Robertson, was allowed to stay in the anchor’s chair long after his hair turned grey, all while being able to leave on his own terms when he was 77.

This is because ageing men are seen as suave, distinguished and sophisticated. Women are just seen as old. “Whatever a woman does or does not do with her hair will affect how others respond to her and thus her social power”, meaning that women have a choice: let the natural process of ageing take over and go grey (and be socially dismissed), or dye their hair to look younger and be more “socially acceptable.”

#KeepTheGrey

LaFlamme’s experience is the spark that has started a fire.

Brands that joined in solidarity with LaFlamme include Wendy’s (their iconic redhead logo switching to grey hair), Sports Illustrated and Dove Canada (tweeting #KeepTheGrey).

These companies have taken a step in the right direction. Though this matter seems like a grey area, it is much deeper than the colour of LaFlamme’s hair. It is a deeply complex matter of gendered ageism.

With more women (and ageing women) in the workforce, companies need to learn how to retain, respect and develop older employees. Responding to the mistreatment of LaFlamme and making her an inspiring role model is the beginning of a positive change.
The Conversation

Credits

Victoria Atabakhsh, PhD Candidate in Aging, Health, and Well-Being/Director of Lifestyle and Programs, University of Waterloo and Joe Todd, PhD Candidate in Recreation and Leisure Studies, University of Waterloo

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Gig Workers Aren’t Self-Employed – They’re Modern-Day Feudal Serfs

“Gig workers aren’t self-employed – they’re modern-day feudal serfs” by Geraint Harvey, Western University; Naveena Prakasam, University of Southampton, and Refat Shakirzhanov, Swansea University

To understand neo-villeiny, we first need to understand medieval villeiny. The villeins of medieval Europe were a type of serf (a tenant farmer) that were bonded to a landlord they paid rent to, and for whom they carried out additional work.

Feudalism has been replaced by capitalism, and a new villeiny — or neo-villeiny — has emerged to reflect the relationship between a worker and an organization, in which the latter benefits far more than the former.

Neo-villeiny still has the core characteristics of medieval villeiny, but instead of the feudal relationship between the landlord and the villein, neo-villeiny describes the relationship between “self-employed” workers and the larger corporations they work for.

Neo-villeiny is a term that has been used to describe the work of self-employed personal trainers in the fitness industry and has more recently been applied to work in other sectors, such as civil aviation.

But we argue this term can also be applied to workers who are dependent on online platforms, like Uber or SkipTheDishes, for work. In other words: gig workers are the new villeins.

gigSelf-Employed or Dependent Workers?

Legal battles across the globe have challenged the legitimacy of gig work as genuine self-employment, as recent court cases involving Uber in Canada and Proposition 22 in California testify.

There is a strong argument to be made that gig work is false self-employment, meaning that workers are not actually freelance, but dependent on a single client for their income. This is arguably true for gig workers, who are entirely dependent on the online platform to get paid. If they were truly freelance, they would not have to depend on one company for their clients and income.

As such, it might be more accurate to call gig workers dependent workers instead. Without the guarantees of employment, dependent work is both insecure and precarious.

Working for Workers Act

The Working for Workers Act announced recently by the Ontario government is a welcome improvement for gig economy workers. The act introduces several new requirements for employers, including prohibiting non-compete agreements and giving workers the right to disconnect from work.

But there are important concerns that have been raised by those working in the gig economy and using online platforms like Uber, Deliveroo or SkipTheDishes. The gig economy is based around short-term, temporary work — the exact kind of work done by Uber drivers and food app couriers. This kind of work is often precarious because of the lack of a guaranteed income.

The new Ontario act means that gig workers on online platforms will only receive payment for active hours, and so they only get paid when involved in transporting a package or passenger. In other words, the time a worker spends travelling to a collection point or waiting for the next gig — both significant parts of a worker’s time — goes unpaid.

gigNeo-villeiny in the Gig Economy

Neo-villeiny is marked by four characteristics, each of which is apparent in the gig economy:

  1. The neo-villein has no guarantee of income: Gig workers depend on the online platform for clients and are only paid when they service a client, e.g., transport them or deliver their dinner. There is no guaranteed income for the worker at the start of a shift.
  2. The neo-villein is dependent on — or bonded to — an organization for clients: Gig workers are bonded to the online platform that makes finding clients far easier than finding them in another way. The situation is exacerbated for gig workers by the other characteristics of neo-villeiny.
  3. The neo-villein must do unpaid labour to earn an income: In response to the Ontario Working for Workers Act, critics have focused on the payment for active hours clause that essentially means workers won’t be paid for some of their labour. For drivers connected to clients through Uber or Lyft, this can amount to 40 per cent of their working time that is spent on tasks like waiting for clients or travelling to a location to collect the client. This is time and labour that is not remunerated, but is still necessary for the job.
  4. The neo-villein must pay rent: Gig workers for organizations like Uber must pay rent in the form of booking fees and commissions on each ride.

From these four characteristics, it is clear that gig workers are neo-villeins whose relationship with their platform extends beyond insecurity or precarity, to a whole different level of exploitation.

The Future of Gig Economy Work

The pandemic has led many workers to reevaluate what is important to them and has been described by some as the Great Resignation. While the Great Resignation doesn’t seem to have impacted Canada as severely as other countries, labour shortages have been a conundrum facing Canadian employers since before the pandemic.

The net result is that there are fewer people prepared to take on this kind of work than before. This is known as a tight labour market, which combined with the current conflict in Eastern Europe and its impact on gas prices at the pumps, might well precipitate a crisis and irreversibly change the relationship between gig workers and their organizations.

But with the benefits that neo-villeiny provides to employers, such as free labour and an ancillary revenue source (rent), we are more likely to see an adaptation, not the elimination, of neo-villeiny.
The Conversation

Credits

Geraint Harvey, DANCAP Private Equity Chair in Human Organization, Western University; Naveena Prakasam, Lecturer, Organisational Behaviour and Human Resource Management, University of Southampton, and Refat Shakirzhanov, Postgraduate Researcher, School of Management, Swansea University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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What To Do With A Woman Who Has Commitment Phobia

 

“What to do with a woman who has commitment phobia” By Cucan Pemo

A woman with commitment phobia always feels insecure and vulnerable when it comes to marriage. She wants to postpone the decision; is often confused and does not know how to get out of the relationship. Unlike men, women with commitment phobia don’t go around hunting for men. They develop natural relationships; relationships in which they believe but which they are not willing to sustain. In the process, they not only hurt men but also hurt themselves.

They find it very difficult to get out of such relationships. There is a feeling of guilt; sometimes even remorse. But these feelings are overpowered by a strong feeling of fear. There is a great reluctance to approach the subject of marriage. At the same time, there is despair too. They don’t want to let go of the man who has brought such happiness into their lives. But they only end up leaving their partners confused, bewildered and angry.

Why Do Women Turn Into Commitment-phobes?

The psychologists see a clear relationship between commitment phobia and traumatic childhood. Their studies show that women who suffer from commitment phobia are deeply influenced by their childhood experiences that have seared their subconscious minds and given birth to such unrealistic fears.

commitment phobeAccording to psychologists, commitment phobia can be caused by any of the following three situations that a child may have undergone during her formative years:

1. Death of a parent: Children may not show grief but they are very sensitive. A few of them may find it very difficult to accept the passing of their father or mother to whom they were deeply attached. Some of them can’t bear to see the grief of their father or mother. This is when their mind decides that they should not allow themselves to get into similar situations. The logic is that there will be no grief if there is no long-term relationship.

2. A messy divorce: There are many children who go into a shell when they see their parents bickering over small things, and finally breaking up. There are some girls who cannot reconcile themselves to their stepfathers or stepmothers and cannot forgive their parents for what they have done to their lives. Marriage to these girls seems to be a relationship where they can only expect bitterness and hurt. That is why they are so keen to avoid the “imagined” pains of marriage.

3. Abusive relationship: Some girls are never able to get over the abuses inflicted by their parents, especially their fathers. They, therefore, do not want to surrender to men once again but want to prize their independence much more. They are mortally scared to risk an unhappy wedding or another abusive relationship.

Women And Commitment Phobia

The fourth reason for women avoiding long-term relationships is purely professional. They may enter into a relationship at a time when their career is poised to take off. They are so attached to their career prospects that they are not willing to compromise on them. Instead, they want to postpone the marriage to a future date, which, in most cases, never comes. But such successful women invariably attract men who want to possess them.

How to spot a commitment phobe

It is not easy to spot women who suffer from commitment phobia. They do not go around lavishing love and affection freely or trying to seduce every man who catches their fancy. In fact, they appear more vulnerable and insecure, triggering relationships where a man wants to protect them. This is how most such relationships begin.

However, the men do not know what they are doing. They are involuntarily getting sucked into a relationship that does not have a future. The best they can do is to probe why the woman for whom they feel so strongly has not found a partner. It should strike them as odd if the woman tells them that her relationships are invariably short. They may, of course, be blinded by love and believe that it would not happen to them. But then they will be making a big mistake.

A better option would be to make the woman talk about herself and her early life, to understand why she has had such unstable relationships. This can make the woman share her fears, however unrealistic they are. The man can throw a protective umbrella around her, and offer the security that she has all along been missing. But there is no guarantee that the woman will be able to exorcise her fears. The relationship may still end on a note of unhappiness and bitterness with the woman pushing her partner away, but the partner refusing to let her go and suffer her fears alone.

counsellingCan Counselling Help?

The last resort is to convince the commitment-phobe to seek professional help. A trained psychologist may be able to wipe the fears away. A hypnotist can also be able to remove the fears of the past. But much depends on how much the woman is willing to open herself, and how much emotional support the man is willing to bring to the relationship.

There is always the possibility that the commitment-phobe may be able to exorcise her fears. But it is also possible these fears may return to haunt her after marriage. Then you can be sure that the marriage will be short-lived. It will not be able to withstand the hallucinations and unrealistic fears of a commitment-phobe.

In the other situation, where a woman places her career first, the man must be ready to compromise. He should never question her priorities even if it hurts his male ego every day or every week. Once again, this is not going to be a stable relationship and will die sooner than later.

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Nigeria’s Efforts To Help Victims Of Trafficking Are Failing

“Nigeria’s efforts to help victims of trafficking are failing. We found out why” by Uwafiokun Idemudia, York University, Canada

Most countries have anti-trafficking laws, policies and programmes to prevent human trafficking. There are also international treaties to address the problem. Yet it’s still thriving.

Human trafficking is the recruitment, transportation, harbouring and control of a person using force and other methods of coercion. The aim is to exploit them. It could be through prostitution or sexual exploitation, forced labour, forced marriage, indentured servitude, and the removal and sale of human organs.

It is also described as a form of modern slavery.

Human trafficking affects millions of people globally. Victims are vulnerable due to poverty, war and conflict, political instability, natural disasters, unemployment and gender inequality.

Human trafficking involves severe exploitation and inhumane ordeals. Victims may experience physical and mental torture, malnourishment, rape, physical confinement, forced drug abuse, forced abortion or poor labour conditions.

When people leave or are freed, from these situations, they tend to have an array of physical and psychological needs. Neglect of their needs can hinder their reintegration into society. Survivors of human trafficking may suffer from fatigue, sexually transmitted infections, depression, anxiety, insomnia, post-traumatic stress disorder, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks and substance addiction.

Some countries offer rehabilitation and reintegration services to support survivors and promote their well-being.

Nigeria, for example, has done so. It sees rehabilitation as essential to protect the human rights of survivors and to help them recover after trafficking. Empowering survivors is a process in which they cease to be victims and start being in control of their lives.

Rehabilitation has become a core component of the Nigerian government’s anti-trafficking policies. But only limited efforts have been made to assess these programmes and whether they help survivors in Nigeria. To address this gap, we did research into the experiences and perceptions of survivors.

We found that the Nigerian government’s rehabilitation efforts seem to simultaneously empower and disempower survivors. Understanding how well the programmes work is key to helping survivors and preventing re-trafficking.

human traffickingAgainst Trafficking: Nigeria’s The Programmes

Nigeria’s rehabilitation programmes target the immediate, ongoing and long-term needs of people who have been trafficked. Their goal is to facilitate physical and mental recovery, empowerment and social inclusion.

Providing survivors with shelter, personal hygiene products, physical healthcare, mental healthcare and counselling are some of the ways to do this. Legal counsel, education, vocational training and employment are also part of rehabilitation.

Nigeria has a reputation as one of the major origin, transit and destination countries for human trafficking. In the US State Department’s Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons in 2017 placed the country on the “Tier 2 Watchlist” of trafficked people globally.

In response, the government enacted a law against trafficking in 2003. That year it also established the National Agency for Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons.

For our study, we examined the impact of the rehabilitation and reintegration programmes offered by the government and civil society organisations.

Our study is based on three months of ethnographic fieldwork in Lagos. We conducted in-depth semi-structured interviews with over 150 female survivors of trafficking aged between 20 and 46. They were all former beneficiaries of rehabilitation programmes at least one year before the study.

We also interviewed rehabilitation officials in the government and civil society who were directly involved in the design and execution of the programmes.

What’s Working, What’s Not

In our research, three main findings emerged.

First, various government agencies and local non-governmental and international organisations collaborate to provide services. This synchronised approach is useful, especially in a context of limited capacity. It allows for the use of core competencies of the different stakeholders.

We also found the rehabilitation and reintegration programmes in Nigeria simultaneously empower and disempower survivors. Service providers tend to see and treat trafficked persons as vulnerable victims without agency. And they fail to adequately address long-term needs.

Lastly, we found that regardless of the protection services that survivors could access, Nigeria’s socioeconomic conditions limit the reintegration of survivors into society.

nigeriaNigeria’s Next Steps

The Nigerian government and civil society stakeholders now lean towards a human rights approach in their efforts to protect trafficked persons. But the tendency to treat survivors as helpless victims is doing more harm than good for their reintegration.

An over-emphasis on reaction rather than prevention, and the poor socioeconomic conditions in the country, also limit the programmes’ effectiveness.

The result is that the government’s ability to support survivors is limited.

Moving forward, collaborative efforts among stakeholders should focus on operational and logistical priorities as well as rehabilitation outcomes. Crucially, investment is needed in monitoring and evaluation to assess the effectiveness of the programmes.

In addition, most of the support tends to be geared towards addressing immediate or short-term needs. Addressing long-term needs is crucial for survivors’ ability to avoid re-trafficking and for their full reintegration into society. A focus on long-term needs will give survivors better control over their lives.

Finally, service providers need to change their perception of survivors of human trafficking as passive, vulnerable “victims”. This perception accounts for the disempowering elements of the programmes. Survivors should rather be viewed and treated as rational people with the ability to make sound and beneficial decisions for themselves.The Conversation

Credits

Uwafiokun Idemudia, Professor of African Studies and International Development Studies, York University, Canada

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Five Rules From Psychology To Help Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions

“Five rules from psychology to help keep your new year’s resolutions” by Brian Harman, De Montfort University and Janine Bosak, Dublin City University

We are creatures of habit. Between a third and half of our behaviour is habitual, according to research estimates. Unfortunately, our bad habits compromise our health, wealth and happiness.


 

On average, it takes 66 days to form a habit. But positive behavioural change is harder than self-help books would have us believe. Only 40% of people can sustain their new year’s resolution after six months, while only 20% of dieters maintain long-term weight loss.

Education does not effectively promote behaviour change. A review of 47 studies found that it’s relatively easy to change a person’s goals and intentions but it’s much harder to change how they behave. Strong habits are often activated unconsciously in response to social or environmental cues – for example, we go to the supermarket about 211 times a year, but most of our purchases are habitual.

With all this in mind, here are five ways to help you keep your new year’s resolutions – whether that’s taking better care of your body or your bank balance.

1. Prioritise Your Goals – New Year’s Resolutions

Willpower is a finite resource. Resisting temptation drains our willpower, leaving us vulnerable to influences that reinforce our impulsive behaviours.

A common mistake is being overly ambitious with our new year’s resolutions. It’s best to prioritise goals and focus on one behaviour. The ideal approach is to make small, incremental changes that replace the habit with behaviour that supplies a similar reward. Diets that are too rigid, for example, require a lot of willpower to follow.

2. Change your routines

Habits are embedded within routines. So disrupting routines can prompt us to adopt new habits. For example, major life events like changing jobs, moving house or having a baby all promote new habits since we are forced to adapt to new circumstances.

While routines can boost our productivity and add stability to our social lives they should be chosen with care. People who live alone have stronger routines so throwing dice to randomise your decision-making if you do could help you disrupt your habits.

Our environment also affects our routines. For example, without giving it any thought, we eat popcorn at the cinema but not in a meeting room. Similarly, reducing the size of your storage containers and the plates you serve food on can help to tackle overeating.

new year's resolutions3. Monitor your behaviour

“Vigilant monitoring” appears to be the most effective strategy for tackling strong habits. This is where people actively monitor their goals and regulate their behaviours in response to different situations. A meta-analysis of 100 studies found that self-monitoring was the best of 26 different tactics used to promote healthy eating and exercise activities.

Another meta-analysis of 94 studies informs us that “implementation intentions” are also highly effective. These personalised “if x then y” rules can counter the automatic activation of habits. For example, if I feel like eating chocolate, I will drink a glass of water.

Implementation intentions with multiple options are very effective since they provide the flexibility to adapt to situations. For example, “if I feel like eating chocolate I will (a) drink a glass of water, (b) eat some fruit, or (c) go for a walk”.

new year's resolutionsBut negatively framed implementation intentions (“when I feel like eating chocolate, I will not eat chocolate”) can be counterproductive since people have to suppress a thought (“don’t eat chocolate”). Ironically, trying to suppress a thought actually makes us more likely to think about it thereby increasing the risk of habits such as binge eating, smoking and drinking.

Distraction is another approach that can disrupt habits. Also effective is focusing on the positive aspects of the new habit and the negative aspects of the problem habit.

4. Imagine your future self

To make better decisions we need to overcome our tendency to prefer rewards now rather than later – psychologists call this our “present bias”. One way to fight this bias is to futureproof our decisions. Our future self tends to be virtuous and adopts long-term goals. In contrast, our present self often pursues short-term, situational goals. There are ways we can work around this, though.

For example, setting up a direct debit into a savings account is effective because it’s a one-off decision. In contrast, eating decisions are problematic because of their high frequency. Often our food choices are compromised by circumstances or situational stresses. Planning ahead is therefore important because we regress to our old habits when put under pressure.

5. Set goals and deadlines

Setting self-imposed deadlines or goals helps us change our behaviour and form new habits. For example, say you are going to save a certain amount of money every month. Deadlines work particularly well when tied to self-imposed rewards and penalties for good behaviour.

Another way to increase motivation is to harness the power of peer pressure. Websites such as stickK allow you to broadcast your commitments online so that friends can follow your progress via the website or on social media (for example, “I will lose a stone in weight by May”). These are highly visible commitments and tie our colours to the mast. A financial forfeit for failure (preferably payable to a cause you oppose) can add extra motivation.The Conversation

Credits

Brian Harman, Lecturer in Marketing, De Montfort University and Janine Bosak, Professor in Organisational Psychology, Dublin City University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Prayer Apps Are Flooding The Market, But Do They Work?

“Prayer apps are flooding the market, but how well do they work?” by Dorian Llywelyn, USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences

Hallow, a Catholic prayer and meditation app that claims over a million downloads, has raised over US$52 million in investments.

Prayer apps are not new. Silicon Valley startups popularized mindfulness and meditation apps as early as 2010, although many have criticized those apps for being spiritually shallow. Hallow’s young founders – devout lay Catholic millennials – are among those who felt that mindfulness apps did not meet their religious needs and set out to create their own.

Hallow’s accessible language introduces different methods of prayer, along with inspiring talks, guides to spiritual practices and notifications to encourage users to set goals and stay on track.

As a priest, I know that helping people develop healthy prayer habits is important.
But both as a scholar of Christian spirituality and as someone who provides spiritual direction to others, I see limitations in what prayer apps can achieve.

prayerPrayer Apps: Tech and Faith

Churches have long adopted communications technology enthusiastically to spread their message. The Reformation started by Martin Luther and his followers in 16th-century Germany spread rapidly through the use of Gutenberg’s printing press.

Currently, Catholic faith-based media include the
Eternal Word Television Network, founded by Catholic nun Mother Angelica, provides news, radio programming, live-streamed services and web-based religious instruction to an estimated viewership of more than 250,000,000 viewers.

Apps serve a purpose as well. As several surveys have shown, active membership in a religious community is declining. Religiously unaffiliated people, who are mostly young, make up about a quarter of the American population. At the same time, many of them yearn for a sense of religious belonging, and these apps appear to help in creating a faith-based community.

The kind of community that technology fosters is an important spiritual question to consider, however. Evidence suggests that the unstoppable reach of technology into all aspects of our lives is shaping how people think and relate to one another. Research has shown that while people have far more access to information, their attention span is less. Since prayer involves both the mind and emotions, this has spiritual implications.

Seeing how addicted people have become to their phones and other devices, I sometimes urge them to regain some spiritual freedom by giving up social media during Lent.

prayerPrayer as Community

Collective identity is baked into many religious traditions, including Islam and Buddhism.

Commitment to the community also runs deep in the Jewish roots of Christianity. Eastern Orthodox Christianity and Catholicism give particular emphasis to the communal aspect of prayer. The praying community gathered together is at the heart of their faith and identity.

An embodied community asks people to show up regularly in real-time and gather together with those they may not know well or even like. The time-consuming inconvenience and lack of choice are in fact spiritual riches because they involve the needs of others. This kind of sacrifice is not what prayer apps facilitate.

In the Catholic tradition, prayer is not primarily about finding peace, joy or reducing stress. Those can be achieved, but they aren’t always present or necessary. Deepening one’s prayer is often a slow process that involves passing through periods of being bored, distracted or frustrated.

People with excellent intentions can sometimes end up being confused about what they are experiencing in prayer, especially if it is unfamiliar. As a priest, I tell people a good rule of thumb is that growth in prayer leads to greater kindness to others, and less focus on oneself.

Many religious traditions, within and outside Christianity, insist that healthy spiritual growth can be aided by the personal guidance of people more experienced in prayer.

The “spiritual father” in monasticism is a teacher of prayer. Within Catholicism, spiritual directors, who can be laypeople or ordained, listen to people talk about their experiences in prayer, helping them relate their prayer to their everyday lives. While this tradition of spiritual guidance can help provide guidance, each person’s prayer is always unique to them.

Even the best-designed algorithms are unlikely to tend to the human soul adequately.

Measuring Impact

Hallow’s many enthusiastic reviews insist that this prayer app is a force for good. So do the many users of other apps.

From my perspective, the measure of a prayer app’s success is not the number of downloads. Jesus insists on looking at the fruit of good intentions. If any app helps people to be more patient, humble, just, and attentive to the poor, it’s a good thing. But being an active member of a real community is likely needed as well.
The Conversation

Credits

Dorian Llywelyn, President, Institute for Advanced Catholic Studies, USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Professor In India Lost Her Job Over A Bikini Photo. What Does This Say About Misogyny?

“A professor in India lost her job over a bikini photo on Instagram. What does this say about misogyny?” by Deeplina Banerjee, Western University

News recently broke that last year, an assistant professor in Kolkata — one of the more liberal cities in India — was allegedly forced to resign after posting a photo in a bathing suit on her social media.

While the divine feminine is often revered in India, the way men continue to treat women in the country speaks volumes about a culture of misogyny.

Philosophers like Iris Young, Sandra Bartky and Susan Bordo have argued that women’s bodies are made “docile” and are “disciplined” through diet, make-up and dress. In South Asian cultures, social norms are designed for women to carry the weight of their families’ honour, and in some cases, the reputation of their employers.

As a researcher studying gender-based violence and social inequity, I argue that women who upset the social setup and choose not to conform to the cultural and social expectations of femininity are seen as the “trouble-makers” and are therefore punished.

misogynyWhat Actually Happened

The assistant professor’s photo generated a variety of reactions and revealed how in Indian society, women are compelled to bear the weight of modesty.

The professors recently revealed:

“Not only was I morally policed and harassed for over an hour over images which I had privately shared with a select group of people, but I was also forced to tender my resignation.”

The father of an 18-year-old student complained his son was looking at “vulgar” photos of the assistant professor. He wrote to the university expressing his “concern” about his son being exposed to the photo.

Many criticized the university’s action as a witch hunt when it was revealed that the vice chancellor and people in the university’s higher administration allegedly forced the assistant professor to resign based on the pictures from her personal Instagram.

Misogyny: Structural Violence Against Women

The insidiousness of misogyny lies in not allowing women ownership of their bodies — in many cases, women’s bodies become the “marker of honour.”

Women who break away from society’s gendered expectations create subjective selves that challenge the very functioning of the patriarchy. When women decide to not abide by the moral code and exist in their bodies — it is an act of resistance.

Structural violence is a combination of personal, situational and interpersonal factors that harm women in many ways. The incident at St. Xavier’s University proves how gendered expectations and culture create the conditions for disciplining and punishing women.

Feminist researcher Kalpana Wilson argues that women’s bodies become sites of surveillance and are morally and socially policed based on their location. Gender stereotypes around femininity are used as harmful social tropes and enforced in educational spaces through dress and moral code of conduct.

misogynyDress code this, dress code that

In a study, consulting firm McKinsey and Company found that professionally, women tend to perform and provide organizational support more than men in similar positions. Yet, women tend to be undervalued.

This illustrates how women who are “trouble-makers” can face dramatically increased challenges at work. Women have to meet unrealistic expectations and regularly have their credibility questioned.

Keith Plummer and Sarah Saska of Feminuity — a Toronto-based feminist diversity and inclusion consulting firm — argue that strict professional codes of conduct harm women, queer folks and those with diverse identities in the labour market. They say that professionalism enforces a mechanical identity where any deviation is treated with skepticism and stigma.

Critiquing professionalism, Plummer and Saska note that it denies opportunities to people and dismisses diverse perspectives. Dress codes not only impose gendered expectations but also make women more vulnerable to institutional scrutiny.

The incident at the university amounts to gendered harassment.

The women working to break away from systemic misogyny and ideas that are rooted in heteronormative and gendered stereotypes also make space for resistance to social oppression. The community of “killjoy women” who live in their bodies work to upset the patriarchy by becoming the tool that challenges its very function.

As the British writer and author of the blog feminist killjoys Sara Ahmed says, a protest is a form of self-care. Women’s voices and actions are feminist tools of protest and reclaiming bodily autonomy.

Women who participate in killjoy moments like existing in their bodies create room for others to demand equal treatment in cultures that dehumanize their existence.

The Conversation

Credits

Deeplina Banerjee, PhD Candidate, Gender, Sexuality and Women Studies, Western University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Addictions In Relationships: Addiction To Alcohol

“Addictions In Relationships: Addiction to Alcohol” By Cucan Pemo

There is no relationship that can breed more frustration and unhappiness than a relationship where one of the partners is an alcoholic. Such a relationship will be marked by constant arguments, financial turmoil, emotional blackmail and even physical abuse. It is a relationship where one partner is always at the receiving end and lives in the hope that the addict will kick the habit one day.

What to Expect in Such Relationships

These relationships can only bring unhappiness. There is bound to be loneliness, despair, and at times rage at what the addict is doing. There will also be constant confrontations. But these confrontations instead of driving the couple apart, often unite them.

This happens because of the helplessness displayed by addicts. The addicts break down at such confrontations pleading helpless and beg support. They also make promises of moving away from the addiction, and never hitting the bottle again. It is this helplessness that pushes the other partner to provide the necessary emotional support. Unfortunately, this cycle of support-confrontation-support keeps getting vicious and vicious only.

addictionAddiction: Why Can’t Individuals Break Out of Such Cycles

Most would think that there is enough reason for a suffering mate to walk out of such a relationship. But this does not always happen. The partners invariably find a reason to stay on. This may be on account of fear of a future without financial security, obsessive love for the mate, a fear of public disapproval or the need to keep the family together.

Sometimes the partners convince themselves that without them the addict will die. They, therefore, avoid doing anything that may hurt the addict. Some even convince themselves, that they alone can help the addict give up the bottle.

Whatever the reason, the partners convince themselves that they need to stay on and that everything will be fine one day. The addicts make full use of such prevarication and indulge in more emotional blackmail and subtle arm-twisting.

How to Identify If You Are Such a Person

You are in danger of entering into such a relationship if you show the following characteristics:

1. You refuse to end the relationship even though you know that the relationship is bad for you, your career and your personal life.

2. You find reasons for sustaining the relationship even though you know that your logic is convoluted.

3. The thought of breaking the relationship throws you in a state of confusion, even panic, and you cling on, even more strongly, to it.

4. You suffer physical discomfort when you try to move to a place where your mate can’t reach you, and you yearn to get back to him.

addictionWhat Should You Do To Save The Relationship

You first need to strengthen yourself. In this quest, you should not allow your morals or principles to weaken your resolve. Be ruthless in dealing with the addict. Treat addiction as a disease that needs to be cured. Don’t give in to emotional blackmail because then you will only end up feeding the disease.

Look upon yourself as an equal partner in the relationship. Don’t be manipulated into believing that you are the rescuer or a victim of an unfortunate relationship. Let the addict know that you have no desire to become a martyr for his cause. You must make sure that you do not accept the lies offered by the addict. As any psychologist will tell you, addicts are very adept at coming up with explanations that sound very convincing. This is how they delude themselves into continuing with their addiction and forcing their loved ones into becoming unwitting partners in their addiction game.

You need to find a support group that understands your pains and sorrows, and can also help you overcome them. You will realize that you were blundering in a maze in your effort to salvage the relationship. The support group will show you the path to come out of the emotional maze that your subconscious mind has built, and also give you the strength to take that path.

You should even consider getting professional help. This may sound shocking to you initially because it is not you but your addict mate who needs professional help. But counselling can come in very useful in such a situation. It will give you the necessary emotional and mental strength to tackle the relationship blues.

Don’t stumble from crisis to crisis

You must give yourself sufficient time to either salvage the relationship or get out of it. Don’t become a slave of the addict because it will only suck you deeper and deeper into a world of unhappiness.

If you realize that you can’t change your mate then you must walk out of the relationship, however painful your action may be. You should feel no guilt or remorse because you gave the relationship the best shot possible.

Now it is time for you to rebuild your life.

Credits

Author Bio
Discover how you can easily bring back the Love of Your Life!

www.retrievealover.com

The Good News Is It Works For Both Men & Women!

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Why Some Workers Are Opting To Live In Their Vans

“Why some workers are opting to live in their vans” by Scott B. Rankin, Thompson Rivers University and Angus J Duff, Thompson Rivers University

A growing number of people are redefining what “home” looks like. For many of them, it looks like a van.

The trend to #vanlife is fuelled by the declining affordability of homes, rental shortages in urban centres and resort communities, and by a shift in our definition of “community” from physical neighbourhood to online social networks.

Judging from our research, there are very different understandings of this choice of residence depending on which side of the steering wheel you’re on. But understanding the experiences of van dwellers is important not just for those looking to cut their ties to rents and mortgages, but also for community planners and employers.

Vans – New Definition of Home

As organization scholars, we believe understanding the shifting definition of home in the work-life balance equation is important. Most research on work-life balance focuses on finding ways to fit work into our homes and lives. That includes either changing the way work is done or providing programs such as daycare, eldercare or telecommuting that help workers better fit their work into their homes.

But these adaptations aren’t available for many workers. Construction work can’t take place on a Zoom call and flexible schedules don’t work well when you’re a bus driver. And many companies, for many reasons, are unwilling to invest in programs that make work more flexible.

vansVans: Redefining Homes

Our research, based on interviews of working people who live in vans, finds that some workers are redefining their homes rather than relying on employers to redefine their work. They’re enabled by the social media movement #vanlife that provides tips on refitting vehicles with beds, baths and kitchens, on friendly (and unfriendly) places to park overnight and a thriving community of #vanlife commodities. The people known as vanlifers reject traditional notions of home ownership and take their residence on the road.

This may sound like mobile home vacationers, but the van life phenomenon is not about vacationing. Rather, it’s a choice that people with jobs are making, especially in high-cost markets like Vancouver, San Francisco and Seattle.

From the point of view of communities and homeowners, van dwellers occupy a category of homelessness. In the winter of 2019, the resort town of Canmore, Alta., grappled with the growing number of vans parking in community centres and shopping mall parking lots. Local residents complained of noise, mess and the use of recreation centre facilities by the van dwellers.

There have been similar stories in Canada, including in Vancouver, Victoria and Squamish, B.C.

Local news narratives tend to paint the van dwellers as a transient group squatting in public spaces. These are valid concerns for communities, but the communities that complain about non-standard living arrangements are often dependent on the low-wage workers who tend to populate them and provide them with the goods and services they need.

Made a Different Choice

We set out to understand the van dweller lifestyle from their perspective and found several common themes. First, van dwellers categorically reject the homeless label. Many respondents made clear they’d simply made a different choice than most when it comes to how they live.

They see van dwelling as a source of freedom from mortgages, rent, utilities and the possessions that come with traditional dwelling places.

One respondent, a club disc jockey, told us that as a renter, he needed to work more than two weeks every month just to pay his rent. In a van, he says, he has extra time and money to live a lifestyle he otherwise could not afford.

A construction worker lived in a van so that he could take half the year off for recreational travel, something that owning or renting would make unaffordable for him.

In addition to financial freedom, van dwellers told us it gave them more career freedom, opening up opportunities they couldn’t otherwise have taken.

A warehouse worker from California relocated to Washington to take advantage of higher wages. An on-call schoolteacher in Vancouver could take different assignments without suffering two-hour commutes. Instead, he moved his home/van in the evening when traffic was light.

Harmony

vansFinally, van dwellers extolled the harmony between work demands and their lives. They consistently told us they could enjoy their lifestyle regardless of work locations and schedules which would be challenging for many. Like the schoolteacher, a bus driver who works out of three depots scattered across B.C.’s lower mainland talked of how her living arrangements eliminated the stress by ridding her of the morning commute.

Van dwellers did report some negatives.

Some found the chore of finding parking places where they weren’t targets for ticketing or community frustration to be an ongoing challenge. Others felt their workplaces might stigmatize their choice, requiring them to hide their lifestyle in fear of harming their or their employer’s reputation.

On the whole, though, van dwellers rejected typical notions of home.

Just as vanlifers have reimagined the definition of home, perhaps it’s time for society and employers to reimagine where workers live. For employers, van living may provide access to workers, particularly in high-cost housing markets or tight employment markets.

Providing basic services such as showers or parking spots with power sources, ensuring employees are not discriminated against based on how they’ve chosen to live or simply acknowledging that someone’s choice of residence is no threat to anyone’s livelihood may create better outcomes for van dwellers, their employers and the communities where they work.

The Conversation

Credits

Scott B. Rankin, Assistant Professor, Human Resources, Thompson Rivers University and Angus J Duff, Associate Professor, Human Resources, Thompson Rivers University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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The Dark Side Of Social Media Influencing

“The dark side of social media influencing” by Samira Farivar, Carleton University; Fang Wang, Wilfrid Laurier University, and Ofir Turel, The University of Melbourne

Do you follow influencers on social media? Do you always check their posts? Do you find you’re spending too much time or becoming obsessed with checking influencers’ accounts? And when you can’t check in, do you feel disconnected or lost?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, you may have what’s known as “problematic engagement” with social media influencers.

But don’t blame yourself too much. You are among the many who have been swept away by dazzling social media influencing. And this can be attributed to many features and tactics social media influencers employ that help keep them influential — like live streams and polls on Instagram.

As experts in social media and user behaviour, we recently published a paper that looks at followers’ problematic engagement with influencers on social media. Our paper is among the first to study which aspects of social media influencing may lead to followers’ problematic engagement. It is important to examine this context considering the significant volume and revenues of social media influencing — it’s a US$13.8 billion industry.

The Issue of Problematic Engagement

In the age of social media, most people know of or follow some social media influencers. Social media influencers are users who have a significant number of followers with established credibility.

Whether you are a fashion fan or want information on health and fitness — there’s an influencer to follow. And followers often gravitate towards them for their authenticity and content creation.

Inside the big business of being a social media influencer by ABC News.

But less focus is put on the dark side of social media influencing. Influencers are motivated and often incentivized (through product and brand endorsement) to increase their power on social media and many are becoming more proficient in attracting and engaging followers.

Followers, on the other hand, can easily become attached and obsessed with influencers and their engagement can often become excessive and unhealthy. Problematic engagement with social media influencers is common among followers, but not well known or understood.

Influencing: Our Research

We recently examined the factors and mechanisms that lead to problematic engagement. We focused on three influencer characteristics (physical attractiveness, social attractiveness and self-presence) and two follower participation attributes (participation comprehensiveness and following length) to explore their effects on the development of problematic engagement through the formation of follower attachments.

Based on attachment theory, we studied two types of attachments — parasocial relationship and sense of belonging, both of which are key in social media influencing. A parasocial relationship is a followers’ perception of their one-sided relationship with an influencer and a sense of belonging refers to the feeling of being an integral member of the influencer’s community.

We conducted an online survey of 500 Instagram users. The results showed that when followers develop attachments both to influencers (parasocial relationship) and their community (sense of belonging), this can lead to problematic engagement.

We found that influencers’ social attractiveness has a stronger effect than other factors in building followers’ attachments. Following more influencers could reduce the impact of attachment to the community (sense of belonging) when it comes to problematic engagement, but not the effect of attachment to the influencer (parasocial relationship).

influencersImplications for Influencers and Followers

Our study warns of and explains problematic engagement with social media users.

We argue that social media users who are attracted to influencers can become easily attached and engage excessively. Users need to be aware of, watch out for and exert self-regulation to manage their interactions with influencers.

For example, participation comprehensiveness — which refers to the reasons for following and the extent of followers’ participation (like watching, liking, commenting, sharing) — can lead to attachment development. This, however, can be consciously managed by followers themselves. One way of doing this is by making use of the phone’s functions and tools like setting daily time limits on Instagram or turning off notifications for the app.

Social media influencers should also be aware of followers’ problematic engagement. Although it may be in contrast with their goal of increasing follower engagement, they can focus on creating a healthy relationship with their followers.

For instance, influencers can openly talk about the issue of problematic engagement and show care for their followers’ well-being. This will help with the sustainability of the relationship because studies have shown that social media users with problematic behaviour are more likely to stop using platforms after a while.

More research on the dark side of social media influencers is needed and we call for future research to focus on additional negative consequences such as followers’ anxiety, depression and the impact of following influencers on followers’ well-being.The Conversation

Credits

Samira Farivar, Assistant Professor, Information Systems, Sprott School of Business, Carleton University; Fang Wang, Professor, Lazaridis School of Business and Economics, Wilfrid Laurier University, and Ofir Turel, Professor, School of Computing and Information Systems, The University of Melbourne

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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